Book contents
- Frontmatter
- PREFACE
- Contents
- CHAP. I SOMETHING TO DO
- CHAP. II SELF-DEPENDENCE
- CHAP. III FEMALE PROFESSIONS
- CHAP. IV FEMALE HANDICRAFTS
- CHAP. V FEMALE SERVANTS
- CHAP. VI THE MISTRESS OF A FAMILY
- CHAP. VII FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS
- CHAP. VIII GOSSIP
- CHAP. IX WOMEN OF THE WORLD
- CHAP. X HAPPY AND UNHAPPY WOMEN
- CHAP. XI LOST WOMEN
- CHAP. XII WOMEN GROWING OLD
CHAP. II - SELF-DEPENDENCE
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 05 August 2011
- Frontmatter
- PREFACE
- Contents
- CHAP. I SOMETHING TO DO
- CHAP. II SELF-DEPENDENCE
- CHAP. III FEMALE PROFESSIONS
- CHAP. IV FEMALE HANDICRAFTS
- CHAP. V FEMALE SERVANTS
- CHAP. VI THE MISTRESS OF A FAMILY
- CHAP. VII FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS
- CHAP. VIII GOSSIP
- CHAP. IX WOMEN OF THE WORLD
- CHAP. X HAPPY AND UNHAPPY WOMEN
- CHAP. XI LOST WOMEN
- CHAP. XII WOMEN GROWING OLD
Summary
“If you want a thing done, go yourself; if not, send.”
This pithy axiom, of which most men know the full value, is by no means so well appreciated by women. One of the very last things we learn, often through a course of miserable helplessness, heart-burnings, difficulties, contumelies, and pain, is the lesson, taught to boys from their school-days, of self-dependence.
Its opposite, either plainly or impliedly, has been preached to us all our lives. “An independent young lady”—“a woman who can take care of herself”—and such-like phrases, have become tacitly suggestive of hoydenishness, coarseness, strong-mindedness, down to the lowest depth of bloomerism, cigarette-smoking, and talking slang.
And there are many good reasons, ingrained in the very tenderest core of woman's nature, why this should be. We are “the weaker vessel”—whether acknowledging it or not, most of us feel this: it becomes man's duty and delight to show us honour accordingly. And this honour, dear as it may be to him to give, is still dearer to us to receive.
Dependence is in itself an easy and pleasant thing: dependence upon one we love being perhaps the very sweetest thing in the world. To resign one's self totally and contentedly into the hands of another; to have no longer any need of asserting one's rights or one's personality, knowing that both are as precious to that other as they ever were to ourselves; to cease taking thought about one's self at all, and rest safe, at ease, assured that in great things and small we shall be guided and cherished, guarded and helped—in fact, thoroughly “taken care of”—how delicious is all this!
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- Chapter
- Information
- A Woman's Thoughts about Women , pp. 22 - 40Publisher: Cambridge University PressPrint publication year: 2010First published in: 1858