Qualitative prisons research is characterized by emotionally intensive edgework and the continual need to demonstrate adherence to risk logics which may be at stark odds with personal ethos (Kilty and Fayter, 2023). Practices in daily prison life frequently proved irreconcilable with my own ethics. Personal ethics did not always sit comfortably alongside professional ideals. Treading lightly around rules and rituals of moral contamination, discomforting intimacies and the demands of the institution presented continual challenges which could deflect attention from other aspects of prison life. Navigating the intricacies of unspoken rules and endless regulations permeated all aspects of life inside. The complex matrices of codes and systems, both formal and informal, extended into all manner of strange and seemingly inconsequential corners of interaction. Matters of etiquette were sometimes inconsistent with more formal directions. Working out which were important, for whom, and in what circumstances was often confusing and counterintuitive.

Uncertainty about how to proceed in an array of exchanges heightened anxiety about the potential for mis-stepping – reflections both of a personal tendency and the tense atmosphere permeating much of the prison, most of the time. Preoccupation with concerns that seemed to present the potential for suspending my access could deflect focus from more routine interactions with those who lacked the power to make such decisions, and which were therefore the most important to honour. Here too, I found myself proceeding gingerly, a means of displaying thoughtfulness and respect on all sides. Examining these exchanges is useful for assessing how far institutional logics creep into the most innocent and trivial of interactions. This chapter features three illustrative examples, as well as my instinctive recognition of the need for a transparency which sometimes descended into farce. These everyday conversations about a kettle, a penguin and a word arrow explore the delicacy of navigating the intricate matrices of sanctions and expectations.

What does this indicate about up-close practice as a prison researcher and the murky lines between participant and observer?

A kettle

What you are allowed in your possession, in what quantity and in what circumstances are all a matter of rigorous regulation in prison. Such heavy emphasis on material items of any description loads them with symbolic value and meaning.