Skip to main content Accessibility help

We use cookies to distinguish you from other users and to provide you with a better experience on our websites. Close this message to accept cookies or find out how to manage your cookie settings.

Close cookie message
×
Hostname: page-component-cd9895bd7-jkksz Total loading time: 0 Render date: 2025-01-03T12:32:25.423Z Has data issue: false hasContentIssue false

4 - Gender and Heteronormativity in Romantic Relationships

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  19 October 2023

By
April L. Few-Demo  and
Katherine R. Allen
Edited by
Brian G. Ogolsky
Brian G. Ogolsky
Affiliation:
University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign
Get access

Summary

In this chapter, guided by an intersectional feminist theoretical approach, we examine gender and sexuality as ubiquitous ideas in personal identity, intimate relationships, family systems, and social institutions. We critique heteronormativity in relational and family science in order to examine the plethora of relationships formed in the context of gender, identity, and sexuality. We examine how social structures at the macro level and social constructions at the microlevel influence selected issues regarding relationship initiation, development, maintenance, and dissolution. We review selected trends in the literature concerning diverse romantic relationships and how they adhere to or critique heteronormative ideologies, thereby, examining ways in which relational partners are both queering and challenging taken for granted assumptions about doing gender and sexuality in relationships.

Keywords

gendersexheteronormativityheterosexismLGBTQqueer
Type
Chapter
Information
The Sociocultural Context of Romantic Relationships , pp. 55 - 70
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2023

Access options

Get access to the full version of this content by using one of the access options below. (Log in options will check for institutional or personal access. Content may require purchase if you do not have access.)

References

Allen, K. R. (2022). Feminist theory, method, and praxis: Toward a critical consciousness for family and close relationship scholars. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075211065779Google Scholar
Allen, K. R., & Goldberg, A. E. (2020). Lesbian women disrupting gendered, heteronormative discourses of motherhood, marriage, and divorce. Journal of Lesbian Studies, 24(1), 12–24. https://doi.org/10.1080/10894160.2019.1615356CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Allen, K. R., Goldberg, A. E., & Jaramillo-Sierra, A. L. (2022). Feminist theories: Knowledge, method, and practice. In Adamsons, K., Few-Demo, A. L., Proulx, C., & Roy, K. (Eds.), Sourcebook of family theories and methodologies. Springer.Google Scholar
Allen, K. R., Lloyd, S. A., & Few, A. L. (2009). Reclaiming feminist theory, methods, and practice for family studies. In Lloyd, S. A., Few, A. L., & Allen, K. R. (Eds.), Handbook of feminist family studies (pp. 3–17). Sage.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Allen, S. H., & Mendez, S. N. (2018). Hegemonic heteronormativity: Toward a new era of queer family theory. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 10(1), 70–86. https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12241CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Balsam, K. F., Rostosky, S. S., & Riggle, E. D. B. (2017). Breaking up is hard to do: Women’s experience of dissolving their same-sex relationship. Journal of Lesbian Studies, 21(1), 30–46. https://doi.org/10.1080/10894160.2016.1165561CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Barker, M., & Langdridge, D. (Eds.). (2010). Understanding non-monogamies. Routledge.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Barton, A. W., Lavner, J. A., Stanley, S. M., Johnson, M. D., & Rhoades, G. K. (2020). “Will you complete this survey too?” Differences between individual versus dyadic samples in relationship research. Journal of Family Psychology, 34(2), 196–203. https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000583CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Bernard, J. (1972). The future of marriage. Bantam.Google Scholar
Carr, D., & Utz, R. L. (2020). Families in later life: A decade in review. Journal of Marriage and Family, 82(1), 346–363. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12609CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Carroll, M. (2020). Asexuality and its implications for LGBTQ-parent families. In Goldberg, A. E. & Allen, K. R. (Eds.), LGBTQ-parent families: Innovations in research and implications for practice (2nd ed., pp. 185–198). Springer.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Chamberlain, P. (2017). The feminist fourth wave: Affective temporality. Palgrave.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Chaney, C. (2020). Family stress and coping among African Americans in the age of COVID-19. Journal of Comparative Family Studies, 51(3–4), 254–273. https://doi.org/10.3138/jcfs.51.3-4.003CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Cherlin, A. J. (2020). Degrees of change: An assessment of the deinstitutionalization of marriage thesis. Journal of Marriage and Family, 82(1), 62–80. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12605CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Cohen, M. T., & Wilson, K.. (2017). Development of the consensual non-monogamy attitude scale (CNAS). Sexuality and Culture, 21(1), 1–14. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-016-9395-5CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Collins, C., Ruppanner, L., Landivar, L. C., & Scarborough, W. J. (2021). The gendered consequences of a weak infrastructure of care: School reopening plans and parents’ employment during the COVID-19 pandemic. Gender & Society, 35(2), 180–193. https://doi.org/10.1177/08912432211001300CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Collins, P. H. (2019). Intersectionality as critical social theory. Duke University Press.Google Scholar
Conley, T. D., Matsick, J., Moors, A. C., & Ziegler, A. (2017). The investigation of consensually non-monogamous relationships: Theories, methods and new directions. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 12(2), 205–232. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691616667925CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Connidis, I. A., Borell, K., & Karlsson, S. G. (2017). Ambivalence and living apart together in later life: A critical research proposal. Journal of Marriage and Family, 79(5), 1404–1418. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12417CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Crenshaw, K. (1991). Mapping the margins: Intersectionality, identity politics, and violence against women of color. Stanford Law Review, 43, 1241–1299. https://doi.org/10.2307/1229039CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Curran, M. A., McDaniel, B. T., Pollitt, A. M., & Totenhagen, C. J. (2015). Gender, emotion work, and relationship quality: A daily diary study. Sex Roles, 73(3–4), 157–173. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-015-0495-8CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Farr, R. H. (2017). Factors associated with relationship dissolution and post-dissolution adjustment among lesbian adoptive couples. Journal of Lesbian Studies, 21(1), 88–105. https://doi.org/10.1080/10894160.2016.1142354CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Fausto-Sterling, A. (1985). Myths of gender: Biological theories about women and men. Basic Books.Google Scholar
Few-Demo, A. L., & Allen, K. R. (2020). Gender, feminist, and intersectional perspectives on families: A decade in review. Journal of Marriage and Family, 82(1), 326–345. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12638CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Few-Demo, A. L., Hunter, A. G., & Muruthi, B. A. (2022). Intersectionality theory: A critical theory pushing family science forward. In Adamsons, K., Few-Demo, A. L., Proulx, C., & Roy, K. (Eds.), Sourcebook of family theories and methodologies. Springer.Google Scholar
Figueroa, V., & Tasker, F. (2020). Familismo, lesbophobia, and religious beliefs in the life course narratives of Chilean Lesbian mothers. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, Article 516471. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.516471CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Fry, R. (2022, March 28). Young women are out-earning young men in several U.S. cities. Retrieved from https://pewrsr.ch/3qGHyzHGoogle Scholar
Goldberg, A. E., & Garcia, R. (2015). Predictors of relationship dissolution in lesbian, gay, and heterosexual adoptive parents. Journal of Family Psychology, 29(3), 394–404. https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000095CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Goldberg, A. E., Allen, K. R., & Carroll, M. (2020). “We don’t exactly fit in, but we can’t opt out”: Gay fathers’ experiences navigating parent communities in schools. Journal of Marriage and Family, 82(5), 1655–1676. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12695CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Goodman, L., Choi, J. H., & Zhu, J. (2021, March 16). More women have become homeowners and heads of household. Could the pandemic undo that progress? Retrieved from www.urban.org/urban-wire/more-women-have-become-homeowners-and-heads-household-could-pandemic-undo-progressGoogle Scholar
Hoskin, R. A. (2020). “Femininity? It’s the aesthetic of subordination”: Examining femmephobia, the gender binary, and experiences of oppression among sexual and gender minorities. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(7), 2319–2339. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-020-01641-xCrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Jackson, S. J., Bailey, M., & Welles, B. F. (2020). #HashtagActivism: Networks of race and gender justice. MIT Press.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Ji, Y., Wu, X., Sun, S., & He, G. (2017). Unequal care, unequal work: Toward a more comprehensive understanding of gender inequality in post-reform urban China. Sex Roles, 77(11–12), 765–778. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-017-0751-1CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Kenny, D. A., & Kashy, D. A. (2014). The analysis of data from dyads and groups. In Reis, H. T. & Judd, C. M. (Eds.), Handbook of research methods in social and personality psychology (pp. 589–607, 2nd ed.). Cambridge University Press.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Kimberly, C., & Hans, J. D. (2017). From fantasy to reality: A grounded theory of experiences in the swinging lifestyle. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 46(3), 789–799. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-015-0621-2CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Kroeger, R. A., & Powers, D. A. (2019). Examining same-sex couples using dyadic data methods. In Schoen, R. (Ed.), Analytical family demography (pp. 157–186). Springer.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Lips, H. M. (2018). Gender: The basics (2nd ed.). Routledge.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Lorber, J. (2012). Gender inequality: Feminist theories and politics (5th ed.). Oxford University Press.Google Scholar
Lorde, A. (1984). Sister outsider: Essays & speeches. Crossing Press.Google Scholar
Lutz, H. (2011). The new maids: Transnational women and the care economy. Zed Books.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Monk, J. K., & Ogolsky, B. G. (2019). Contextual relational uncertainty model: Understanding ambiguity in a changing sociopolitical context. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 11(2), 234–261. https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12325Google Scholar
Moors, A. C., Matsick, J., & Schechinger, H. (2017). Unique and shared relationship benefits of consensually non-monogamous and monogamous relationships: A review and insights for moving forward. European Psychologist, 22(1), 55–71. https://doi.org/10.1027/1016-9040/a000278CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Moors, A. C., Matsick, J. L., Ziegler, A., Rubin, J., & Conley, T. D. (2013). Stigma toward individuals engaged in consensual non-monogamy: Robust and worthy of additional research. Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy, 13(1), 52–69.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Ogolsky, B. G., Monk, J. K., Rice, T. M., Theisen, J. C., & Maniotes, C. R. (2017). Relationship maintenance: A review of research on romantic relationships. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 9(3), 275–306. https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12205CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Oswald, R. F., Blume, L. B., & Marks, S. R. (2005). Decentering heteronormativity: A model for family studies. In Bengtson, V. L., Acock, A. C., Allen, K. R., Dilworth-Anderson, P., & Klein, D. M. (Eds.), Sourcebook of family theory and research (pp. 143–165). Sage.Google Scholar
Oswald, R., Kuvalanka, K., Blume, L., & Berkowitz, D. (2009). Queering “the family”. In Lloyd, S. A., Few, A. L., & Allen, K. R. (Eds.), Handbook of feminist family studies (pp. 43–55). Sage.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Pollitt, A., & Curran, M. (2022). How a gender-as-relational perspective has been applied in quantitative studies of emotion work in romantic relationships. In Adamsons, K., Few-Demo, A. L., Proulx, C., & Roy, K. (Eds.), Sourcebook of family theories and methodologies. Springer.Google Scholar
Reczek, C. (2020). Sexual- and gender-minority families: A 2010–2020 decade in review. Journal of Marriage and Family, 82(1), 300–325. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12607CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Rhode, D. L. (Ed.). (1990). Theoretical perspectives on sexual difference. Yale University Press.Google Scholar
Riggle, E. D. B., Rothblum, E. D., Rostosky, S. S., Clark, J. B., & Balsam, K. F. (2016). “The secret of our success”: Long-term same-sex couples’ perceptions of their relationship longevity. Journal of GLBT Family Studies, 12(4), 319–334. https://doi.org/10.1080/1550428X.2015.1095668CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Risman, B. J. (2004). Gender as a social structure: Theory wrestling with activism. Gender & Society, 18(4), 429–450. https://doi.org/10.1177/0891243204265349Google Scholar
Risman, B. J. (2018). Where the millennials will take us: A new generation wrestles with the gender structure. Oxford University Press.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Rothblum, E. D. (2009). An overview of same-sex couples in relation ships: A research area still at sea. In Hope, D. A. (Ed.), Nebraska symposium on motivation: Vol. 54. Contemporary perspectives on lesbian, gay, and bisexual identities (pp. 113–139). Springer.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Sassler, S., & Lichter, D. T. (2020), Cohabitation and marriage: Complexity and diversity in union-formation patterns. Journal of Marriage and Family, 82(1), 35–61. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12617CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Schippers, M. (2020). Polyamory, monogamy, and American dreams: The stories we tell about poly lives and the cultural production of inequality. RoutledgeGoogle Scholar
Sheff, E. (2015). Polyamorists next door: Inside multiple-partner relationships and families. Rowman & Littlefield.Google Scholar
Strohm, C. Q., Seltzer, J. A., Cochran, S. D., & Mays, V. M. (2009). “Living apart together” relationships in the United States. Demographic Research, 21(7), 177–214. www.jstor.org/stable/26349343CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Thomeer, M. B., Umberson, D., & Reczek, C. (2020). The gender-as-relational approach for theorizing about romantic relationships of sexual and gender minority mid- to later-life adults. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 12(2), 220–237. https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12368CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Vaughan, M. D., Jones, P., Taylor, B. A., & Roush, J. (2019). Healthcare experiences and needs of consensually non-monogamous people: Results from a focus group study. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 16(1), 42–51. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsxm.2018.11.006CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Waismel-Manor, R., Wasserman, V., & Shamir-Balderman, O. (2021). No room of her own: Married couples’ negotiation of workspace at home during COVID-19. Sex Roles, 85(11–12), 636–649. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-021-01246-1CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
West, C., & Zimmerman, D. H. (1987). Doing gender. Gender & Society, 1(2), 125–151. https://doi.org/10.1177/0891243287001002002CrossRefGoogle Scholar
West, T. V., Popp, D., & Kenny, D. A. (2008). A guide for the estimation of gender and sexual orientation effects in dyadic data: An actor-partner interdependence model approach. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34(3), 321–336. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167207311199CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Yucel, D., & Gassanov, M. A. (2010). Exploring actor and partner correlates of sexual satisfaction among married couples. Social Science Research, 39(5), 725–738. http://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssresearch.2009.09.002Google Scholar

Save book to Kindle

To save this book to your Kindle, first ensure [email protected] is added to your Approved Personal Document E-mail List under your Personal Document Settings on the Manage Your Content and Devices page of your Amazon account. Then enter the ‘name’ part of your Kindle email address below. Find out more about saving to your Kindle.

Note you can select to save to either the @free.kindle.com or @kindle.com variations. ‘@free.kindle.com’ emails are free but can only be saved to your device when it is connected to wi-fi. ‘@kindle.com’ emails can be delivered even when you are not connected to wi-fi, but note that service fees apply.

Find out more about the Kindle Personal Document Service.

Available formats
×

Save book to Dropbox

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Dropbox.

Available formats
×

Save book to Google Drive

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Google Drive.

Available formats
×