Introduction

Thus far, this book has presented research findings which have sociologically explored the patterns of inequality in the construction of aspirations and in the experiences of pupils attending three contrasting schools. I have highlighted the systematic and institutional structures and practices which serve to reproduce unequal relations within the field. Chapter 9 turns to the personal to provide a reflexive account of myself as a researcher from a working-class background and explores the deeply emotional process of conducting research closely tied to one's own trajectory and life experiences. Amanda Coffey in her influential book The ethnographic self writes that ‘fieldwork is personal, emotional and identity work’ (1999: 1, emphasis in original). She argues that fieldwork can often impact us more than our participants: ‘The reality that the impact of fieldwork is usually greatest for us and not for our hosts should remain the firm reason why we should be open about our attachments to and emotions about fieldwork and our hosts’ (Coffey, 1999: 37).

Coffey's words around the need to be open about these feelings point towards a central point in Pierre Bourdieu's work, one that all sociological researchers should aspire to achieve; that is reflexivity. The concept of reflexivity has taken on many forms in different contexts, including within Bourdieu's own work (see Grenfell and James, 1998, for a comprehensive overview of Bourdieusian reflexivity in educational research). As such it is important to be specific about the type of reflexivity I am embarking on. Bourdieu argues that reflexivity is about ‘objectifying the subject of objectification’ (Bourdieu, 2006 [2000]: 10). He writes: ‘One should make it a rule to never embark on sociology, and especially the sociology of sociology, without first, or simultaneously, undertaking a self socio-analysis’ (Bourdieu, 1993: 49).

What does it mean to conduct a self ‘socio-analysis’? Coming from a sociological perspective, not a psychological or a psycho-social one, the process of self-analysis has been difficult. For me, what Bourdieu is directing us to do is to delve into our psyche and unpack the way in which this affects our interests and interactions. To understand how we are part of our research and indeed our research, in part, is a reconstruction of our own personal perspectives.