Skip to main content Accessibility help

We use cookies to distinguish you from other users and to provide you with a better experience on our websites. Close this message to accept cookies or find out how to manage your cookie settings.

Close cookie message
×
Hostname: page-component-586b7cd67f-dsjbd Total loading time: 0 Render date: 2024-11-22T17:35:18.378Z Has data issue: false hasContentIssue false

6 - The Self-Expansion Model and Relationship Maintenance

from Part II - Theories of Relationship Maintenance

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  02 December 2019

By
Xiaomeng Xu ,
Gary Lewandowski Jr  and
Arthur Aron
Edited by
Brian G. Ogolsky  and
J. Kale Monk
Brian G. Ogolsky
Affiliation:
University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign
J. Kale Monk
Affiliation:
University of Missouri
Get access

Summary

In this chapter, we discuss romantic relationship maintenance in the context of self-expansion. Overall, we review the self-expansion model and its accompanying empirical literature over the past 30 years, and consider some implications and future directions. Specifically, we begin by conceptualizing relationship maintenance, describing the self-expansion model (including both of its key principles: motivation to expand one's abilities to accomplish goals and including close others in the self), and covering some of the foundational work conducted with couples (e.g., self–other overlap and relational benefits of shared exciting activities). We then review research showing that relationship maintenance and self-expansion are positively related, and discuss potential mechanisms and theoretical underpinnings. We next explore more recent research on individual self-expansion and its implications for the maintenance of close relationships. Throughout the chapter, we provide illustrative examples of how self-expansion is associated with relationship characteristics, behaviors, maintenance, and outcomes. These examples will hopefully allow readers to better understand the concepts, theories, and empirical findings, and also allow utilization of this knowledge in real-life applications. Finally, we end with a summary and discussion of future directions for self-expansion and relationship researchers.

Keywords

romantic relationshipintimate relationshipclose relationshipslovepartnersself-conceptrelationship enhancementrelationship satisfactionincluding other in the selfshared exciting activities
Type
Chapter
Information
Relationship Maintenance
Theory, Process, and Context
 , pp. 86 - 106
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2019

Access options

Get access to the full version of this content by using one of the access options below. (Log in options will check for institutional or personal access. Content may require purchase if you do not have access.)

References

Acevedo, B., & Aron, A. (2014). Romantic love, pair-bonding, and the dopaminergic reward system. In Mikulincer, M. & Shaver, P. R. (Eds.), Nature and development of social connections: From brain to group (pp. 55–69). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.Google Scholar
Acevedo, B. P., Aron, A., Fisher, H. E., & Brown, L. L. (2012). Neural correlates of long-term intense romantic love. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 7, 145–159. doi:10.1093/scan/nsq092CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Aron, A., & Aron, E. (1986). Love and the expansion of self: Understanding attraction and satisfaction. New York: Hemisphere.Google Scholar
Aron, A., & Aron, E. N. (1997). Self-expansion motivation and including other in the self. In Duck, S. (Ed.), Handbook of personal relationships: Theory, research and interventions (pp. 251–270). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.Google Scholar
Aron, A., Aron, E. N., & Norman, C. (2001). The self-expansion model of motivation and cognition in close relationships and beyond. In Clark, M. & Fletcher, G. (Eds.), Blackwell handbook in social psychology, Vol. 2: Interpersonal processes (pp. 478–501). Oxford, UK: Blackwell.Google Scholar
Aron, A., Aron, E. N., & Smollan, D. (1992). Inclusion of other in the self scale and the structure of interpersonal closeness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 63, 596–612. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.63.4.596Google Scholar
Aron, A., Aron, E. N., Tudor, M., & Nelson, G. (1991). Close relationships as including other in the self. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60, 241–253. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.60.2.241CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Aron, A., Fisher, H., Mashek, D. J., Strong, G., Li, H., & Brown, L. L. (2005). Reward, motivation, and emotion systems associated with early stage intense romantic love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 94, 327−337. doi:10.1152/jn.00838.2004CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Aron, A., & Lewandowski, G. W. Jr. (2002). Interpersonal attraction, psychology of. In Smelser, N. J. & Baltes, P. B. (Eds.), International encyclopedia of the social and behavioral sciences (pp. 7860–7862). Oxford: Pergamon.Google Scholar
Aron, A., Lewandowski, G. W. Jr., Mashek, D., & Aron, E. N. (2013). The self-expansion model of motivation and cognition in close relationships. In Simpson, J. A. & Campbell, L. (Eds.), The Oxford handbook of close relationships (pp. 90–115). New York: Oxford University Press.Google Scholar
Aron, A., Norman, C., Aron, E., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R. (2000). Couples’ shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78, 273–284. doi:10.1037//0022-3514.78.2.273Google Scholar
Aron, A., Paris, M., & Aron, E. N. (1995). Falling in love: Prospective studies of self-concept change. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69, 1102–1112. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.69.6.1102CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Aron, A., Steele, J. L., Kashdan, T. B., & Perez, M. (2006). When similars do not attract: Tests of a prediction from the self-expansion model. Personal Relationships, 13, 387–396. doi:10.1111/j.1475–6811.2006.00125.xCrossRefGoogle Scholar
Aron, A., Whitfield, S., & Lichty, W. (2007). Whole brain correlations: Examining similarity across conditions of overall patterns of neural activation in fMRI. In Sawilowsky, S. (Ed.), Real data analysis (pp. 365–369). Charlotte, NC: American Educational Research Association / Information Age Publishing.Google Scholar
Buck, A. A., & Neff, L. A. (2012). Stress spillover in early marriage: The role of self-regulatory depletion. Journal of Family Psychology, 26(5), 698–708. doi:10.1037/a0029260Google Scholar
Burris, C. T., Rempel, J. K., Munteanu, A. R., & Therrien, P. A. (2013). More, more, more: The dark side of self-expansion motivation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 39, 578–595. doi:10.1177/0146167213479134CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Cacioppo, S., Grafton, S. T., & Bianchi-Demicheli, F. (2012). The speed of passionate love, as a subliminal prime: A high-density electrical neuroimaging study. NeuroQuantology, 10, 715–724.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Carson, J. W., Carson, K. M., Gil, K. M., & Baucom, D. H. (2007). Self-expansion as a mediator of relationship improvements in a mindfulness intervention. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 33, 517–528. doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.2007.00035.xGoogle Scholar
Chen, Y., Chen, C., Lin, C., Chou, K., & Decety, J. (2010). Love hurts: An fMRI study. NeuroImage, 51, 923–929. doi:10.1016/j.neuroimage.2010.02.047Google Scholar
Coulter, K., & Malouff, J. M. (2013). Effects of an intervention designed to enhance romantic relationship excitement: A randomized-control trial. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 2, 34–44. doi:10.1037/a0031719Google Scholar
Decety, J., & Sommerville, J. A. (2003). Shared representations between self and other: A social cognitive neuroscience view. TRENDS in Cognitive Science, 7, 527–533. doi:10.1016/j.tics.2003.10.004CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Dutton, D. G., & Aron, A. P. (1974). Some evidence for heightened sexual attraction under conditions of high anxiety. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 30(4), 510–517. doi:10.1037/h0037031Google Scholar
Fisher, H. E., Brown, L. L., Aron, A., Strong, G., & Mashek, D. (2010). Reward, addiction, and emotion regulation systems associated with rejection in love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 104, 51–60. doi:10.1152/jn.00784.2009Google Scholar
Fitzsimons, G. M., & Fishbach, A. (2010). Shifting closeness: Interpersonal effects of personal goal progress. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98, 535–549. doi:10.1037/a0018581Google Scholar
Fivecoat, H. C., Tomlinson, J. M., Aron, A., & Caprariello, P. A. (2014). Partner support for individual self-expansion opportunities: Effects on relationship satisfaction in long-term couples. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 32, 1–18. doi:10.1177/0265407514533767Google Scholar
Gable, S. L., & Reis, H. T. (2010).Good news! Capitalizing on positive events in an interpersonal context. In Zanna, M. P. (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology (vol. 42, pp. 195–257). San Diego, CA: Elsevier Academic Press.Google Scholar
Gardner, W. L., Gabriel, S., & Hochschild, L. (2002). When you and I are “we,” you are not threatening: The role of self-expansion in social comparison. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82, 239–251. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.82.2.239CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Graham, J. M. (2008). Self-expansion and flow in couples’ momentary experiences: An experience sampling study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95, 679–694. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.95.3.679Google Scholar
Green, S. G., Bull Schaefer, R. A., MacDermid, S. M., & Weiss, H. M. (2011). Partner reactions to work-to-family conflict: Cognitive appraisal and indirect crossover in couples. Journal of Management, 37(3), 744–769. doi:10.1177/0149206309349307Google Scholar
Harasymchuk, C., & Fehr, B. (2010). A script analysis of relationship boredom: Causes, feelings, and coping strategies. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 29, 988–1019. doi:10.1521/jscp.2010.29.9.988Google Scholar
Ilies, R., Wilson, K. S., & Wagner, D. T. (2009). The spillover of daily job satisfaction onto employees’ family lives: The facilitating role of work-family integration. Academy of Management Journal, 52(1), 87–102. doi:10.5465/AMJ.2009.36461938Google Scholar
Impett, E. A., Gordon, A. M., Kogan, A., Oveis, C., Gable, S. L., & Keltner, D. (2010). Moving toward more perfect unions: Daily and long-term consequences of approach and avoidance goals in romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 99, 948–963. doi:10.1037/a0020271Google Scholar
Impett, E. A., Strachman, A., Finkel, E. J., & Gable, S. L. (2008). Maintaining sexual desire in intimate relationships: The importance of approach goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 94, 808–823. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.94.5.808Google Scholar
Knee, C. R., & Canevello, A. (2006). Implicit theories of relationships and coping in romantic relationships. In Vohs, K. D. & Finkel, E. J. (Eds.), Self and relationships: Connecting intrapersonal and interpersonal processes (pp. 160–176). New York, NY: Guilford Press.Google Scholar
Leary, M. R. (2007). Motivational and emotional aspects of the self. Annual Review of Psychology, 58, 317–344. doi:10.1146/annurev.psych.58.110405.085658Google Scholar
Ledbetter, A. M. (2013). Relational maintenance and inclusion of other in the self: Measure development and dyadic test of a self-expansion theory approach. Southern Communication Journal, 78, 289–310. doi:10.1080/1041794X.2013.815265Google Scholar
Lewandowski, G. W. Jr., & Ackerman, R. A. (2006). Something’s missing: Need fulfillment and self-expansion as predictors of susceptibility to infidelity. The Journal of Social Psychology, 146, 389–403. doi:10.3200/SOCP.146.4.389-403Google Scholar
Lewandowski, G. W., Jr., & Aron, A. (2002, February). The Self-expansion Scale: Construction and validation. Paper presented at the Third Annual Meeting of the Society of Personality and Social Psychology, Savannah, GA.Google Scholar
Lewandowski, G. W., Jr., Mattingly, B. A., & Pedreiro, A. (2014). Under pressure: The effects of stress on positive and negative relationship behaviors. Journal of Social Psychology, 154, 463–473. doi:10.1080/00224545.2014.933162CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Mashek, D., Aron, A., & Boncimino, M. (2003). Confusions of self with close others. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29, 382–392. doi:10.1177/0146167202250220Google Scholar
Mashek, D., Le, B., Israel, K., & Aron, A. (2011). Wanting less closeness in romantic relationships. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 33, 333–345. doi:10.1080/01973533.2011.614164Google Scholar
Mattingly, B. A., & Lewandowski, G. W. Jr. (2013a). An expanded self is a more capable self: The association between self-concept size and self-efficacy. Self and Identity, 12, 621–634. doi:10.1080/15298868.2012.718863Google Scholar
Mattingly, B. A., & Lewandowski, G. W., Jr. (2013b). The power of one: Benefits of individual self-expansion. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 8, 12–22. doi:10.1080/17439760.2012.746999CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Mattingly, B. A., & Lewandowski, G. W. Jr. (2014a). Broadening horizons: Self-expansion in relational and nonrelational contexts. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 8, 30–40. doi:10.1111/spc3.12080Google Scholar
Mattingly, B. A., & Lewandowski, G. W. Jr. (2014b). Expanding the self brick by brick: Non-relational self-expansion and self-concept size. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 5, 483–489. doi:10.1177/1948550613503886CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Mattingly, B. A, Lewandowski, G. W. Jr., & Carson, R. E. A. (2011). Solving the unsolvable: The effects of self-expansion on generating solutions to impossible problems. Poster presented at the 12th Annual Society for Personality and Social Psychology Conference, San Antonio, TX.Google Scholar
Mattingly, B. A., Lewandowski, G. W. Jr., & McIntyre, K. P. (2014). You make me a better/worse person: A two-dimensional model of relationship self-change. Personal Relationships, 21, 176–190. doi:10.1111/pere.12025Google Scholar
Mattingly, B. A., McIntyre, K. P., & Lewandowski, G. W. Jr. (2012). Approach motivation and the expansion of self in close relationships. Personal Relationships, 19, 113–127. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01343.xCrossRefGoogle Scholar
McIntyre, K. P., Mattingly, B. A., Lewandowski, G. W., Jr., & Simpson, A. (2014). Workplace self-expansion: Implications for job satisfaction, commitment, self-concept clarity and self-esteem among the employed and unemployed. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 36, 59–69. doi:10.1080/01973533.2013.856788CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Neff, L. A., & Karney, B. R. (2004). How does context affect intimate relationships? Linking external stress and cognitive processes within marriage. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30, 134–148. doi:10.1177/0146167203255984Google Scholar
O’Leary, K. D., Acevedo, B. P., Aron, A., Huddy, L., & Mashek, D. (2012). Is long-term love more than a rare phenomenon? If so, what are its correlates? Social Psychological and Personality Science, 3, 241–249. doi:10.1177/1948550611417015CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Ortigue, S., & Bianchi-Demicheli, F. (2008). Why is your spouse so predictable? Connecting mirror neuron system and self-expansion model of love. Medical Hypotheses, 71, 941–944. doi:10.1016/j.mehy.2008.07.016CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Philippe, F. L., Vallerand, R. J., Houlfort, N., Lavigne, G. L., & Donahue, E. G. (2010). Passion for an activity and quality of interpersonal relationships: The mediating role of emotions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98, 917–932. doi:10.1037/a0018017Google Scholar
Reissman, C., Aron, A., & Bergen, M. R. (1993). Shared activities and marital satisfaction: Causal direction and self-expansion versus boredom. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 10, 243–254. doi:10.1177/026540759301000205Google Scholar
Roggero, A., Vacirca, M., Mauri, A., & Ciairano, S. (2012). The transition to cohabitation: The mediating role of self-efficacy between stress management and couple satisfaction. In Vassar, M. (Ed.), Psychology of life satisfaction (pp. 147–171). Hauppauge, NY: Nova Science Publishers.Google Scholar
Rusbult, C. E., Finkel, E. J., & Kumashiro, M. (2009). The Michelangelo Phenomenon. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 18, 305–309.Google Scholar
Schindler, I., Paech, J., & Löwenbrück, F. (2014). Linking admiration and adoration to self-expansion: Different ways to enhance one’s potential. Cognition and Emotion, 29(2), 292–310. doi:10.1080/02699931.2014.903230Google Scholar
Shafer, K., Jensen, T. M., & Larson, J. H. (2014). Relationship effort, satisfaction, and stability: Differences across union type. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 40(2), 212–232. doi:10.1111/jmft.12007Google Scholar
Slatcher, R. B. (2010). When Harry and Sally met Dick and Jane: Creating closeness between couples. Personal Relationships, 17, 279–297. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01276.xGoogle Scholar
Slotter, E. B., & Gardner, W. L. (2009). Where do you end and I begin? Evidence for anticipatory, motivated self–other integration between relationship partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 96, 1137–1151. doi:10.1037/a0013882CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Slotter, E. B., & Gardner, W. L. (2012). How needing you changes me: The influence of attachment anxiety on self-concept malleability in romantic relationships. Self and Identity, 11, 386–408. doi:10.1080/15298868.2011.591538Google Scholar
Tomlinson, J. M., & Aron, A. (2013). The path to closeness: A mediational model for overcoming the risks of increasing closeness. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 30(6), 805–812.Google Scholar
Tomlinson, J. M., Lewandowski, G. W., & Aron, A. (2017, June). Perceived excitement drives benefits of self-expanding activities. In A. Aron (Chair), Advances in self-expansion research, Symposium presented at International Association of Relationship Research Mini-Conference, Syracuse, NY.Google Scholar
Tsapelas, I., Aron, A., & Orbuch, T. (2009). Marital boredom now predicts less satisfaction 9 years later. Psychological Science, 20, 543–545. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9280.2009.02332.xGoogle Scholar
VanderDrift, L. E., Lewandowski, G. W., Jr., & Agnew, C. R. (2011). Reduced self-expansion in current romance and interest in relationship alternatives. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 28, 356–373. doi:10.1177/0265407510382321Google Scholar
Waugh, C. E., & Fredrickson, B. L. (2006). Nice to know you: Positive emotions, self-other overlap, and complex understanding in the formation of a new relationship. Journal of Positive Psychology, 1, 93–106. doi:10.1080/17439760500510569Google Scholar
Wright, S. C., McLaughlin-Volpe, T., & Brody, S. M. (2004, January). Seeking and finding an expanded “me” outside my ingroup: Outgroup friends and self change, Presentation at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology conference, Austin, TX.Google Scholar
Xu, X., Aron, A., Brown, L., Cao, G., Feng, T., & Weng, X. (2011). Reward and motivation systems: A brain mapping study of early-stage intense romantic love in Chinese participants. Human Brain Mapping, 32, 249–257. doi:10.1002/hbm.21017Google Scholar
Xu, X., Aron, A., Westmaas, J. L., Wang, J., & Sweet, L. H. (2014). An fMRI study of nicotine-deprived smokers’ reactivity to smoking cues during novel/exciting activity. PLoS ONE, 9(4), e94598. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0094598Google Scholar
Xu, X., Floyd, A. H. L., Westmaas, J. L., & Aron, A. (2010). Self-expansion and smoking abstinence. Addictive Behaviors, 35, 295–301. doi:10.1016/j.addbeh.2009.10.019Google Scholar
Xu, X., Wang, J., Lei, W., Aron, A., Westmaas, L., & Weng, X (2012). Intense passionate love attenuates cigarette cue-reactivity in nicotine-deprived smokers: An fMRI study. PLoS ONE, 7(7), e42235. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0042235CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Younger, J., Aron, A., Parke, S., Chatterjee, N., & Mackey, S. (2010). Viewing pictures of a romantic partner reduces experimental pain: Involvement of neural reward systems. PLoS ONE, 5, 1–7. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0013309Google Scholar
Zeki, S., & Romaya, J. P. (2010). The brain reaction to viewing faces of opposite- and same sex romantic partners. PLoS ONE, 5(12): e15802. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0015802Google Scholar

Save book to Kindle

To save this book to your Kindle, first ensure [email protected] is added to your Approved Personal Document E-mail List under your Personal Document Settings on the Manage Your Content and Devices page of your Amazon account. Then enter the ‘name’ part of your Kindle email address below. Find out more about saving to your Kindle.

Note you can select to save to either the @free.kindle.com or @kindle.com variations. ‘@free.kindle.com’ emails are free but can only be saved to your device when it is connected to wi-fi. ‘@kindle.com’ emails can be delivered even when you are not connected to wi-fi, but note that service fees apply.

Find out more about the Kindle Personal Document Service.

Available formats
×

Save book to Dropbox

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Dropbox.

Available formats
×

Save book to Google Drive

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Google Drive.

Available formats
×