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10 - Culture and developmental pathways of relationship formation

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  04 August 2010

By
Heidi Keller  and
Robin Harwood
Edited by
Sevda Bekman  and
Ayhan Aksu-Koç
Foreword by
M. Brewster Smith
Sevda Bekman
Affiliation:
Bogaziçi University, Istanbul
Ayhan Aksu-Koç
Affiliation:
Bogaziçi University, Istanbul
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Summary

I met Çiğdem at various IACCP conferences over the last decades in various functions. The distant perspective of an intellectually much appreciated colleague turned over the years into a close and wonderful friendship. Çiğdem's enthusiasm and devotion for her work and her message is inspiring for students and colleagues. Her interpersonal warmth and her sense of humour make all the encounters with her special. I feel privileged to have had many great moments with her and I truly want many more to come.

Heidi Keller

m: No, I like it but I'm just thinking the child should not grow up only in the world of herself and the mother.

i: Okay.

m: You need to bring other people into her life because you cannot just grow up with your child. There are moments, for instance if she [the mother] dies now, the child will find it difficult getting closer to another person. Though the mother and the child need to have their own relationship, when you are making a relationship with the child [you must] allow her to interact with other people. So that, if you are not there, she can easily get closer to other people. Like in this situation when you are always there with the child, immediately you are not there she looks for that familiar face and when she does not find the face, no matter what any other person does it cannot really satisfy her.

(Excerpt from an interview with a Cameroonian Nso mother about the best care for an infant)

m: And sometimes they do need time away – uhm –, 'cause they get overstimulated if there are just too many people around.[…]

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Perspectives on Human Development, Family, and Culture , pp. 157 - 177
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2009

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