Skip to main content Accessibility help
×
Hostname: page-component-cd9895bd7-q99xh Total loading time: 0 Render date: 2024-12-22T21:03:34.728Z Has data issue: false hasContentIssue false
This chapter is part of a book that is no longer available to purchase from Cambridge Core

Fourteen Mistakes

Get access

Summary

‘You never reach any truth without making fourteen mistakes’

Razumikhin, drunk in Crime and Punishment

1.

How we learned to create a thunderclap

in a lab with dust and mirrors

How we designed a clap to blast

away every echo

2.

How we moved to new cities

and wrote our addresses in loose font

on the back of every envelope from

every drawer in every office we visited from Auckland to Brooklyn to Hackney

and spoke our names

only with accents formed

in locales we'd lately visited

so no one could guess what we were

3.

How we drizzled cold grease between

our fingers till we forced what we touched

to gleam

4.

And I sewed you into an old sweater

worn so bare it was no longer cotton

but two life-sized holes

5.

How we posed for an unseen creature

as we imagined it shifting

between trees trying

to steal a better look

6.

(How desperate we were not to recall

the horrors of ourselves)

7.

(And how the echoes kept arriving

like swallows crashing

against windowpanes

trying to make glass air)

8.

How we baked silence

behind glass

till it warmed and grew

9.

And when an architect asked

to build a garden inside us

we pried ourselves open and let him in

until we were filled with paths and gates

we did not own the maps for

10.

And when we realised the architect had left for good

how proud we were still to've been

an acciaccatura to his chord

11.

How in the mornings we woke, still drunk,

with rain pattering the windows,

and mist draped through trees,

waiting for our old brains to wake

12.

And when we finally admitted

we wanted to go home

we couldn't be re-admitted

till we re-mapped our own insides

found the end of every path

crafted a key for each gate

and acted cured

of all we'd claimed to know

13.

And by the time we could see

we were doomed

it was winter.

14.

And we drove to the edge of our adopted city

rubbed salt in our tires

threaded snow through our fingers

and listened to the melting layers

of all we hadn't done

the towns we wouldn't visit

the people we'd never meet

and let it all trickle around us like music.

Type
Chapter
Information
Nowhere Nearer
, pp. 36 - 40
Publisher: Liverpool University Press
Print publication year: 2018

Access options

Get access to the full version of this content by using one of the access options below. (Log in options will check for institutional or personal access. Content may require purchase if you do not have access.)

Save book to Kindle

To save this book to your Kindle, first ensure [email protected] is added to your Approved Personal Document E-mail List under your Personal Document Settings on the Manage Your Content and Devices page of your Amazon account. Then enter the ‘name’ part of your Kindle email address below. Find out more about saving to your Kindle.

Note you can select to save to either the @free.kindle.com or @kindle.com variations. ‘@free.kindle.com’ emails are free but can only be saved to your device when it is connected to wi-fi. ‘@kindle.com’ emails can be delivered even when you are not connected to wi-fi, but note that service fees apply.

Find out more about the Kindle Personal Document Service.

Available formats
×

Save book to Dropbox

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Dropbox.

Available formats
×

Save book to Google Drive

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Google Drive.

Available formats
×