Persian Social Etiquette, the Taãrof

In Iranian culture, the interaction and communication between individuals (other than wellacquainted persons) follow a behavioral convention called the taãrof. The taãrof is rooted in Iran's social tradition and Iranians’ affinity for courtesy and social grace. It is variously translated into English as Persian social etiquette, ritual courtesy and ritual politeness. The taãrof includes both behavioral and verbal aspects. The essential basis of the taãrof is a display of politeness and respect for the conversation partner. In practice, the taãrof calls for a demonstration of one's humility, humbleness and even deference, while at the same time affirming and preserving the conversation partner's dignity and high status (actual or perceived) throughout the conversation. Usually, both speakers follow this behavioral game, unless superiority (in age, or social, professional or hierarchical status) of one of the speakers is overwhelmingly obvious or is intended to be expressed, in which case the party with superior status is free to resort to a less elaborate form of the taãrof. Thus, a younger speaker addressing an older speaker (e.g., a student addressing a professor) would resort to the taãrof and use the polite you and conjugate the verbs in plural, while the older speaker (especially if the age difference is significant) would have the liberty of choosing to use the casual you and conjugate the verbs in the singular. If the conversation partners are of equal status, the extent of the taãrof depends on how well they know each other, that is, two university professors who meet for the first time will resort to the complete taãrof register.

It is important to keep in mind that the concept of the taãrof is different from the difference between the formal and colloquial registers. The taãrof can be performed in colloquial as well as formal registers.

The taãrof is expressed through behavior, body language, gestures and words. The Persian language provides two sets of lexical units for most common verbs and pronouns— one for the taãrof and the other for regular speech. Given below are some common examples and cases.