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23 - Emotional Gifts and “You First” Micropolitics

Niceness in the Socioemotional Economy

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  05 June 2012

Candace Clark
Affiliation:
Montclair State University
Antony S. R. Manstead
Affiliation:
University of Cambridge
Nico Frijda
Affiliation:
Universiteit van Amsterdam
Agneta Fischer
Affiliation:
Universiteit van Amsterdam
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Summary

ABSTRACT

Patterned exchanges of emotions in everyday life help build walls of indifference or enmity and webs of affiliation. Interview and observational data show that the “nice” person and the “micro-hero” give emotional gifts and use a variety of “you first” strategies to safeguard others' emotions and micropolitical places.

INTRODUCTION

Whether people are aware of it or not, human emotionality is an ongoing stream, and what Westerners refer to as emotions – the bits of experience from this stream that a given culture has recognized, labeled, and scripted – pervade every aspect of social life. As more recent evidence bears out (see, e.g., Sally, 2000, p. 579; Scheff, 1990; Wentworth & Ryan, 1992; Wentworth & Yardley, 1994; and Zajonc, 1998), the words that Hume wrote in 1740 were quite apt: “no object is presented to the senses, nor image form'd in the fancy, but what is accompany'd with some emotion or movement of spirits proportion'd to it … however custom may make us insensible of this sensation, and cause us to confound it with the object or idea …” ([1740] 1978, p. 373). If we think about it, we realize that even seemingly routine cognitive and physical tasks such as reading a term paper, balancing the checkbook, glancing at a stranger walking down the street, or doing laundry are accompanied by emotions, be they strong or weak. If our attention is caught in the action, our emotions concern it; if our attention wanders from the task, our emotions stray elsewhere.

Type
Chapter
Information
Feelings and Emotions
The Amsterdam Symposium
, pp. 402 - 421
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2004

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