Skip to main content Accessibility help

We use cookies to distinguish you from other users and to provide you with a better experience on our websites. Close this message to accept cookies or find out how to manage your cookie settings.

Close cookie message
×
Hostname: page-component-cd9895bd7-8ctnn Total loading time: 0 Render date: 2025-01-03T10:42:03.105Z Has data issue: false hasContentIssue false

13 - Haven in a Heartless World? Hurt Feelings in the Family

from PART IV - HURT IN RELATIONAL CONTEXTS

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  04 August 2010

By
Rosemary S. L. Mills  and
Caroline C. Piotrowski
Edited by
Anita L. Vangelisti
Anita L. Vangelisti
Affiliation:
University of Texas, Austin
Get access

Summary

Hurt feelings are ubiquitous in family relationships. The emotional investment that family members make in one another typically is intense and matched only by the emotional vulnerability it involves. In the ups and downs of daily life, irritation and conflict are frequent occurrences, and vulnerability heightens the potential for bruised feelings and sometimes agonizing emotional pain. Mothers of preschoolers experience an aversive event every few minutes, with major conflicts occurring as often as three times in an hour (Patterson, 1980), and although the rates decline with older children it is safe to say that parent–child interaction is rife with hurt feelings. Aversive interactions between young siblings may be even more frequent (Martin & Ross, 1996, 2005; Patterson, 1980). Aversive experiences that occur with such frequency must have a significant impact on the developing child, and a basic premise of research on children's relationships is that they are key learning experiences about self and social relationships and hence an important risk factor for development in these domains. Understanding the precise nature of these learning experiences has been a major aim of research on children's relationships with their parents and siblings. Our purpose in this chapter is to review research relevant to understanding the nature of these learning experiences and their effects on development.

Type
Chapter
Information
Feeling Hurt in Close Relationships , pp. 260 - 287
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2009

Access options

Get access to the full version of this content by using one of the access options below. (Log in options will check for institutional or personal access. Content may require purchase if you do not have access.)

References

Arsenio, W. F., & Lemerise, E. A. (2004). Aggression and moral development: Integrating social information processing and moral domain models. Child Development, 75, 987–1002.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Baldwin, M. W. (1992). Relational schemas and the processing of social information. Psychological Bulletin, 112, 461–484.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Barber, B. K., & Harmon, E. L. (2002). Violating the self: Parental psychological control of children and adolescents. In Barber, B. K. (Ed.), Intrusive parenting: How psychological control affects children and adolescents (pp. 15–52). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Barrett, K. C. (1998). A functionalist perspective to the development of emotions. In Mascolo, M. F. & Griffin, S. (Eds.), What develops in emotional development? (pp. 109–133). New York: Plenum.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Bates, J. E., & Pettit, G. S. (2007). Temperament, parenting, and socialization. In Grusec, J. E. & Hastings, P. D. (Eds.), Handbook of socialization: Theory and research (pp. 153–177). New York: Guilford.Google Scholar
Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117, 497–529.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. Harmondsworth, UK: Penguin.Google Scholar
Boyle, M. H., Jenkins, J. M., Georgiades, K., Cairney, J., Duku, E., & Racine, Y. (2004). Differential-maternal parenting behavior: Estimating within- and between-family effects on children. Child Development, 75, 1457–1476.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Brody, G. H. (1998). Sibling relationship quality: Its causes and consequences. Annual Review of Psychology, 49, 1–24.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Brody, L. R., Copeland, A. P., Sutton, L. S., Richardson, D. R., & Guyer, M. (1998). Mommy and Daddy like you best: Perceived family favoritism in relation to affect, adjustment and family process. Journal of Family Therapy, 20, 269–291.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Bugental, D. B., & Lewis, J. C. (1999). The paradoxical misuse of power by those who see themselves as powerless: How does it happen?Journal of Social Issues, 55, 51–64.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Camodeca, M., & Menesini, E. (2007, April). Is bullying just a school problem? Similarities and differences between siblings and peers. Paper presented at the 33rd Biennial Meeting of the Society for Research in Child Development, Boston.Google Scholar
Campos, J. J., Thein, S., & Owen, D. (2004). A Darwinian legacy to understanding human infancy: Emotional expressions as behavior regulators. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1000, 1–26.Google Scholar
Casas, J. F., Weigel, S. M., Crick, N. R., Ostrov, J. M., Woods, K. E., Yeh, E. A. J., et al. (2006). Early parenting and children's relational and physical aggression in the preschool and home contexts. Applied Developmental Psychology, 27, 209–227.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Cicirelli, V. (1985). Sibling relationships throughout the life cycle. In L'Abate, L. (Ed.), The handbook of family psychology and therapy (pp. 177–214). Homewood, IL: Dorsey Press.Google Scholar
Compton, K., Snyder, J., Schrepferman, L., Bank, L., & Shortt, J. (2003). The contribution of parents and siblings to antisocial and depressive behavior in adolescents: A double jeopardy coercion model. Development and Psychopathology, 15, 163–182.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Cooley, C. H. (1902). Human nature and the social order. New York: Scribner.Google Scholar
Crick, N. R., Casas, J. F., & Hu, H. (1999). Relational and physical forms of peer victimization in preschool. Developmental Psychology, 35, 376–385.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Crick, N. R., & Dodge, K. A. (1994). A review and reformulation of social information-processing mechanisms in chldren's social adjustment. Psychological Bulletin, 115, 74–101.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Cummings, E. M., Davies, P. T., & Campbell, S. B. (2000). Developmental psychopathology and family process: Theory, research, and clinical implications. New York: Guilford.Google Scholar
DeHart, G. (1999). Conflict and averted conflict in preschoolers' interactions with siblings and friends. In Collins, W. & Laursen, B. (Eds.), Relationships as developmental contexts: Festschrift in honor of Willard W. Hartup. Minnesota symposia on child psychology (Vol. 30, pp. 281–303). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.Google Scholar
Bak, I., & Ross, H. (1986). I'm telling! The content, context and consequences of children's tattling on their siblings. Social Development, 5, 292–309.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Derryberry, D., & Rothbart, M. K. (1997). Reactive and effortful processes in the organization of temperament. Development and Psychopathology, 9, 633–652.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Dickerson, S. S., Gruenewald, T. L., & Kemeny, M. E. (2004). When the social self is threatened: Shame, physiology, and health. Journal of Personality, 72, 1191–1216.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Dienstbier, R. A., Hellman, D., Lehnhoff, J., Hillman, J. H., & Volkenaar, M. C. (1975). An emotion-attribution approach to moral behavior: Interfacing cognitive and avoidance theories of moral development. Psychological Review, 82, 299–315.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Dix, T. (1992). Parenting on behalf of the child: Empathic goals in the regulation of responsive parenting. In Sigel, I. E., McGillicuddy-DeLisi, A. V., & Goodnow, J. J. (Eds.), Parental belief systems: The psychological consequences for children (2nd ed., pp. 319–346). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.Google Scholar
Downey, G., Khouri, H., & Feldman, S. I. (1997). Early interpersonal trauma and later adjustment: The mediational role of rejection sensitivity. In Cicchetti, D. & Toth, S. L. (Eds.), Rochester Symposium on Developmental Psychopathology, Vol. 8: Developmental perspectives on trauma: Theory, research, and intervention (pp. 85–114). Rochester, NY: University of Rochester Press.Google Scholar
Downey, G., Lebolt, A., Rincon, C., & Freitas, A. L. (1998). Rejection sensitivity and children's interpersonal difficulties. Child Development, 69, 1074–1091.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Duncan, R. D. (1999). Peer and sibling aggression: An investigation of intra and extra-familial bullying. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 14, 871–886.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Dunn, J., & Munn, P. (1986a). Sibling quarrels and maternal intervention: Individual differences in understanding and aggression. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 27, 583–595.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Dunn, J., & Munn, P. (1986b). Sibling quarrels and maternal intervention: Individual differences in understanding and aggression. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 27, 583–595.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Dweck, C. S. (2000). Self-theories: Their role in motivation, personality, and development. Philadelphia: Psychology Press.Google Scholar
Fagan, A., & Najman, J. (2003). Association between early childhood aggression and internalizing behavior for sibling pairs. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 42, 1093–1100.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Fineberg, M., McHale, S., Crouter, A., & Cumsille, P. (2003). Sibling differentiation: Sibling and parent relationship trajectories in adolescence. Child Development, 74, 1261–1274.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Finkelhor, D., & Dzubia-Leatherman, J. (1994). Victimization of children. American Psychologist, 49, 173–183.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Finkelhor, D., Ormrod, R., Turner, H., & Hamby, S. (2005). The victimization of children and youth: A comprehensive, national surveyChild Maltreatment, 10, 5–25.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Finkelhor, D., Turner, H., & Ormrod, R. (2006). Kid's stuff: The nature and impact of peer and sibling violence on younger and older children. Child Abuse & Neglect, 30, 1401–1421.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Fischer, K. W., Shaver, P. R., & Carnochan, P. (1990). How emotions develop and how they organise development. Cognition and Emotion, 4, 81–127.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Fontaine, R. G. (2006). Applying systems principles to models of social information processing and aggressive behavior in youth. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 11, 64–76.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Foote, R., & Holmes-Lonergan, H. (2003). Sibling conflict and theory of mind. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 21, 45–58.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Garcia, M., Shaw, D., Winslow, E., & Yaggi, K. (2000). Destructive sibling conflict and the development of conduct problems in young boys. Developmental Psychology, 36, 44–53.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
George, C., & Solomon, J. (1999). Attachment and caregiving: The caregiving behavioral system. In Cassidy, J. & Shaver, P. R. (Eds.), Handbook of attachment: Theory, research and clinical applications (pp. 649–670). New York: Guilford.Google Scholar
Gershoff, E. T. (2002). Corporal punishment by parents and associated child behaviors and experiences: A meta-analytic and theoretical review. Psychological Bulletin, 128, 539–579.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Gilbert, P., & Gerlsma, C. (1999). Recall of shame and favouritism in relation to psychopathology. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 38, 357–373.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Hardy, M. S. (2001). Physical aggression and sexual behavior among siblings: A retrospective study. Journal of Family Violence, 16, 255–268.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Hart, C. H., Nelson, D. A., Robinson, C. C., Olsen, S. F., & McNeilly-Choque, M. K. (1998). Overt and relational aggression in Russian nursery-school-age children: Parenting style and marital linkages. Developmental Psychology, 34, 687–697.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Herzberger, S. D., & Hall, J. A. (1993). Children's evaluations of retaliatory aggression against siblings and friends. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 8, 77–93.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Hoffman, M. L. (1970). Moral development. In Mussen, P. H. (Ed.), Carmichael's manual of child psychology (Vol. 2, pp. 457–557). New York: Wiley.Google Scholar
Howe, N., Rinaldi, C., Jennings, M., & Petrakos, H. (2002). “No! The lambs can stay out because they got cozies”: Constructive and destructive sibling conflict, pretend play and social understanding. Child Development, 73, 1460–1473.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Hoyle, R. H. (2006). Personality and self-regulation: Trait and information-processing perspectives. Journal of Personality, 74, 1507–1525.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Hoyt, W. T., Fincham, F. D., McCullough, M. E., Maio, G., & Davila, J. (2005). Responses to interpersonal transgressions in families: Forgivingness, forgivability, and relationship-specific effects. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 89, 375–394.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Huesmann, L. R. (1998). The role of social information processing and cognitive schema in the acquisition and maintenance of habitual aggressive behavior. In Geen, R. G. & Donnerstein, E. (Eds.), Human aggression: Theories, research, and implications for social policy (pp. 73–109). San Diego: Academic Press.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Jones, T. L., & Prinz, R. J. (2005). Potential roles of parental self-efficacy in parent and child adjustment: A review. Clinical Psychology Review, 25, 341–363.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Kagan, J. (1989). Temperamental contributions to social behavior. American Psychologist, 44(4), 668–674.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Kagan, J., Reznick, J. S., & Snidman, N. (1987). The physiology and psychology of behavioral inhibition in children. Child Development, 58, 1459–1473.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Kamins, M. L., & Dweck, C. S. (1999). Person versus process praise and criticism: Implications for contingent self-worth and coping. Developmental Psychology, 35, 835–847.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Keenan, K., & Shaw, D. (1997). Developmental and social influences on young girls' early problem behavior. Psychological Bulletin, 121, 95–113.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Keery, H., Boutelle, K., Berg, P., & Thompson, J. K. (2005). The impact of appearance-related teasing by family members. Journal of Adolescent Health, 37, 120–127.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Keltner, D., Capps, L., Kring, A. M., Young, R. C., & Heerey, E. A. (2001). Just teasing: A conceptual analysis and empirical review. Psychological Bulletin, 127, 229–248.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Kenny, D. A., & DePaulo, B. M. (1993). Do people know how others view them? An empirical and theoretical account. Psychological Bulletin, 114, 145–161.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Khaleque, A., & Rohner, R. P. (2002). Perceived parental acceptance-rejection and psychological adjustment: A meta-analysis of cross-cultural and intracultural studies. Journal of Marriage and Family, 64, 54–64.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Kim, J., Hetherington, M., & Reiss, D. (1999). Associations among family relationships, antisocial peers, and adolescents' externalizing behaviors: Gender and family type differences. Child Development, 70, 1209–1230.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Kochanska, G. (1993). Toward a synthesis of parental socialization and child temperament in early development of conscience. Child Development, 66, 325–347.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Kowal, A., Krull, J., & Kramer, L. (2004). How the differential treatment of siblings is linked to parent-child relationship quality. Journal of Family Psychology, 18, 658–665.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Kowal, A., Krull, J., & Kramer, L. (2006). Shared understanding of parental differential treatment in families. Social Development, 15, 276–295.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Kruger, J., Gordon, C. L., & Kuban, J. (2006). Intentions in teasing: When “just kidding” just isn't good enough. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 90, 412–425.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Kuczynski, L., & Lollis, S. (2001). Four foundations for a dynamic model of parenting. In Gerris, J. R. M. (Ed.), Dynamics of parenting (pp. 445–462). Leuven, Belgium: Garant.Google Scholar
Lansford, J. E., Chang, L., Dodge, K. A., Malone, P. S., Oburu, P., Palmerus, K., et al. (2005). Physical discipline and children's adjustment: Cultural normativeness as a moderator. Child Development, 76, 1234–1246.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Leary, M. R. (2001). Toward a conceptualization of interpersonal rejection. In Leary, M. R. (Ed.), Interpersonal rejection (pp. 3–20). New York: Oxford University Press.Google Scholar
Leary, M. R., & Baumeister, R. F. (2000). The nature and function of self-esteem: Sociometer theory. In Zanna, M. P. (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology (Vol. 32, pp. 1–62). San Diego: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Leary, M. R., Springer, C., Negel, L., Ansell, E., & Evans, K. (1998). The causes, phenomenology, and consequences of hurt feelings. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 1225–1237.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Lemerise, E. A., & Arsenio, W. F. (2000). An integrated model of emotion processes and cognition in social information processing. Child-Development, 71, 107–118.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Lewis, H. B. (1971). Shame and guilt in neurosis. New York: International Universities Press.Google ScholarPubMed
Lewis, M. (1992). Shame: The exposed self. New York: Free Press.Google Scholar
Maccoby, E. E. (2000). The uniqueness of the parent-child relationship. In Collins, W. A. & Laursen, B. (Eds.), Relationships as developmental contexts (pp. 157–175). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.Google Scholar
MacDonald, G., & Leary, M. R. (2005). Why does social exclusion hurt? The relationship between social and physical pain. Psychological Bulletin, 131, 202–223.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Martin, J., & Ross, H. (1996). Do mitigating circumstances influence family reactions to physical aggression? Child Development, 67, 1455–1466.CrossRef
Martin, J., & Ross, H. (2005). Sibling aggression: Sex differences and parents' reactions. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 29, 129–138.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
McGuire, S., Manke, B., Eftekhari, A., & Dunn, J. (2000). Children's perceptions of sibling conflict during middle childhood: Issues and sibling (dis)similarity. Social Development, 9, 173–190.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
McHale, S., Updegraff, K., Jackson-Newsom, J., Tucker, C., & Crouter, A. (2000). When does parents' differential treatment have negative implications for siblings?Social Development, 9, 149–172.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
McHale, S., Updegraff, K., Shanahan, L., Crouter, A., & Killoren, S. (2005). Siblings' differential treatment in Mexican American families. Journal of Marriage and Family, 67, 1259–1274.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
McHale, S., Updegraff, K., Tucker, C., & Crouter, A. (2000). Step in or stay out? Parents' roles in adolescent siblings' relationships. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 62, 746–760.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Mills, R. S. L. (2005). Taking stock of the developmental literature on shame. Developmental Review, 25, 26–63.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Mills, R. S. L., Freeman, W. S., Clara, I. P., Elgar, F. J., Walling, B. R., & Mak, L. (2007). Parent proneness to shame and the use of psychological control. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 16, 359–374.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Mills, R. S. L., Nazar, J., & Farrell, H. M. (2002). Child and parent perceptions of hurtful messages. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 19, 723–746.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Mills, R. S. L., & Piotrowski, C. C. (2000). Emotional communication and children's learning about conflict. In Mills, R. S. L. & Duck, S. (Eds.), The developmental psychology of personal relationships (pp. 71–90). Chichester, UK: Wiley.Google Scholar
Mills, R. S. L., & Rubin, K. H. (1998). Are behavioural and psychological control both differentially associated with childhood aggression and social withdrawal?Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science, 30, 132–136.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Nishina, A., & Juvonen, J. (2005). Daily reports of witnessing and experiencing peer harrassment in middle school. Child Development, 76, 435–450.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Ostrov, J. M., Crick, N. R., & Stauffacher, K. (2006). Relational aggression in sibling and peer relationships during early childhood. Applied Developmental Psychology, 27, 241–253.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Parrot, W. (1991). The emotional experiences of envy and jealousy. In Salovey, P. (Ed.), The psychology of jealousy and envy (pp. 3–30). New York: Guilford.Google Scholar
Patterson, G. R. (1980). Mothers: The unacknowledged victims. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 45(5, Serial No. 186), 1–64.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Patterson, G. R. (1986). Maternal rejection: Determinant or product of deviant child behavior? In Hartup, W. W. & Rubin, Z. (Eds.), Relationships and development (pp. 73–94). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.Google Scholar
Perlman, M., & Ross, H. (1997). The benefits of parent intervention in children's disputes: An examination of concurrent changes in children's fighting styles. Child Development, 68, 690–700.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Perlman, M., Siddiqui, A., Ram, A., & Ross, H. S. (2000). An analysis of sources of power in children's conflict interactions. In Mills, R. S. L. & Duck, S. (Eds.), The developmental psychology of personal relationships (pp. 155–174). Chichester, UK: Wiley.Google Scholar
Pietrzak, J., Downey, G., & Ayduk, O. (2005). Rejection sensitivity as an interpersonal vulnerability. In Baldwin, M. W. (Ed.), Interpersonal cognition (pp. 62–84). New York: Guilford.Google Scholar
Piotrowski, C. C. (1999). Keeping the peace or peace of mind? Maternal cognitions about sibling conflict & aggression. In Hastings, P. D. & Piotrowski, C. C. (Eds.), Conflict as a context for understanding maternal beliefs about child-rearing and children's misbehavior (Vol. 86, pp. 5–23). San Francisco: Jossey–Bass.Google Scholar
Rigby, K. (2003). Consequences of bullying in schools. Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 48, 583–590.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Rinaldi, C., & Howe, N. (1998). Siblings' reports of conflict and the quality of their relationships. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 44, 404–422.Google Scholar
Rohner, R. P., Kean, K. J., & Cournoyer, D. E. (1991). Effects of corporal punishment, perceived caretaker warmth, and cultural beliefs on the psychological adjustment of children in St. Kitts, West Indies. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53, 681–693.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Ross, H., & Bak-Lammers, I. (1998). Consistency and change in children's tattling on their siblings: Children's perspectives on the moral rules and procedures of family life. Social Development, 7, 275–300.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Ross, H., Siddiqui, A., Ram, A., & Ward, L. (2004). Perspectives on self and other in children's representations of sibling conflict. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 28, 37–47.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Ross, H., Smith, J., Spielmacher, C., & Recchia, H. (2004). Shading the truth: Self-serving biases in children's reports of sibling conflict. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 50, 61–85.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Schleien, S., Ross, H., & Ross, M. (2005). “I'm sorry, but”: An analysis of sibling apologies. Paper presented at the University of Waterloo Graduate Student Research Conference.Google Scholar
Schore, A. N. (1996). The experience-dependent maturation of a regulatory system in the orbital prefrontal cortex and the origin of developmental psychopathology. Development and Psychopathology, 8, 59–87.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Shebloski, B., Conger, K. J., & Widaman, K. F. (2005). Reciprocal links among differential parenting, perceived partiality, and self-worth: A three-wave longitudinal study. Journal of Family Psychology, 19, 633–642.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Stein, N., & Albro, E. (2001). The origins and nature of arguments: Studies in conflict understanding, emotion, and negotiation. Discourse Processes, 32, 113–133.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Stocker, C. (1994). Children's perceptions of relationships with siblings, friends, and mothers: Compensatory processes and links with adjustment. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 35, 1447–1459.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Stocker, C., Burwell, R., & Briggs, M. (2002). Sibling conflict in middle childhood predicts children's adjustment in early adolescence. Journal of Family Psychology, 16, 50–57.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Straus, M. A., Gelles, R. J., & Steinmetz, S. K. (2006). Behind closed doors: Violence in the American family. Somerset, NJ: Transaction.Google Scholar
Tangney, J. P., Burggraf, S. A., & Wagner, P. E. (1995). Shame-proneness, guilt-proneness, and psychological symptoms. In Tangney, J. P. & Fischer, K. W. (Eds.), Self-conscious emotions: The psychology of shame, guilt, embarrassment, and pride (pp. 343–367). New York: Guilford.Google Scholar
Tangney, J. P., & Fischer, K. W. (Eds.). (1995). Self-conscious emotions: The psychology of shame, guilt, embarrassment, and pride. New York: Guilford.
Tesser, A. (1980). Self-esteem maintenance in family dynamics. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 39, 77–91.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Tomkins, S. S. (1987). Shame. In Nathanson, D. L. (Ed.), The many faces of shame (pp. 133–161). New York: Guilford.
Updegraff, K., Thayer, S., Whiteman, S., Denning, D., & McHale, S. (2005). Relational aggression in adolescents' sibling relationships: Links to sibling and parent-adolescent relationship qualityFamily Relations, 54, 373–385.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Vangelisti, A. L. (1994). Messages that hurt. In Cupach, W. R. & Spitzberg, B. H. (Eds.), The dark side of interpersonal communication (pp. 53–82). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.Google Scholar
Vangelisti, A. L. (2001). Making sense of hurtful interactions in close relationships: When hurt feelings create distance. In Manusov, V. & Harvey, J. H. (Eds.), Attribution, communication behavior, and close relationships (pp. 38–58). New York: Cambridge University Press.Google Scholar
Vangelisti, A. L., & Young, S. L. (2000). When words hurt: The effects of perceived intentionality on interpersonal relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17, 393–424.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Vangelisti, A. L., Young, S. L., Carpenter-Theune, K. E., & Alexander, A. L. (2005). Why does it hurt? The perceived causes of hurt feelings. Communication Research, 32, 443–477.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Wainryb, C., Brehl, B. A., & Matwin, S. (2005). Being hurt and hurting others: Children's narrative accounts and moral judgments of their own interpersonal conflicts. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 70(3, Serial No. 281), 1–122.Google ScholarPubMed
Walling, B. R., Mills, R. S. L., & Freeman, W. S. (2007). Parenting cognitions associated with the use of psychological control. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 16, 642–659.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Weiner, B. (1986). An attributional theory of motivation and emotion. New York: Springer-Verlag.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Werner, N. E., Senich, S., & Przepyszny, K. A. (2006). Mothers' responses to preschoolers' relational and physical aggression. Applied Developmental Psychology, 27, 193–208.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Wiehe, V. (1997). Sibling abuse: Hidden physical, emotional and sexual trauma (2nd ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.Google Scholar
Wilson, A., Smith, M., Ross, H., & Ross, M. (2004). Young children's personal accounts of their sibling disputes. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 50, 39–60.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Wolke, D., & Samara, M. M. (2004). Bullied by siblings: Association with peer victimisation and behavior problems in Israeli lower secondary school children. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 45, 1015–1029.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Worthington, E. L. (2005). Handbook of forgiveness. New York: Routledge.Google Scholar

Save book to Kindle

To save this book to your Kindle, first ensure [email protected] is added to your Approved Personal Document E-mail List under your Personal Document Settings on the Manage Your Content and Devices page of your Amazon account. Then enter the ‘name’ part of your Kindle email address below. Find out more about saving to your Kindle.

Note you can select to save to either the @free.kindle.com or @kindle.com variations. ‘@free.kindle.com’ emails are free but can only be saved to your device when it is connected to wi-fi. ‘@kindle.com’ emails can be delivered even when you are not connected to wi-fi, but note that service fees apply.

Find out more about the Kindle Personal Document Service.

Available formats
×

Save book to Dropbox

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Dropbox.

Available formats
×

Save book to Google Drive

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Google Drive.

Available formats
×