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Letter LXVIII

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  30 June 2022

Alexander Pettit
Affiliation:
University of North Texas
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Summary

To a Brother, against making his Wife and Children the constant Subject of his Praise and Conversation.

Dear Brother,

The Love I have always had for you, and an Unwillingness I find in myself to say any thing that may put you to Confusion, has made me take this Method of acquainting you with a small Indiscretion I have often observed in you, and which I perceive gradually to gain Ground as your Family increases.

What I mean, is an immoderate Inclination to make your Spouse, and your Children, the Subject of Discourse where-ever you are. Imagine not that any Pique or Dislike draws this from me: My Sister, I think, is possessed of as many valuable Qualities as most of her Sex; and all your Children are very promising. No wonder then, that this View makes a very deep Impression upon so tender a Heart as yours; and the Fondness of a Husband, and of a Father, is what must make you esteemed by all who consider the many Advantages arising from thence to Posterity. But a Mind full of Affection for what is so dear to himself, stands in need of the utmost Care, to keep what concerns only himself, from employing too much the Attention of others: What affects you most sensibly upon this Subject, is, even by your Friends, heard rather with an Ear of Censure than Applause: And what the tender Bias of a Father swells in your Conception to the most witty Repartee, by an Ear destitute of that Bias, sounds neither witty, nor uncommon; and you cannot mortify many Men more, than by dragging out an unwilling Ay, very pretty indeed, Sir: A charming Boy! or, Such a Saying was far above his Years, truly. Which kind of yawning Applause, is sometimes, by your Attention being strongly fixed to your Story, mistaken for Approbation, and you thereupon launch out farther upon the same Subject, when your Hearers are scarce able to conceal their Inattention. Besides, don't you consider, that another Man may have as great Fondness for his, as you have for yours; and while your Children are the wittiest, the beautifullest, the hopefullest in England, do you not tacitly reflect upon every other Man's Children in the Company?

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Chapter
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Early Works
'Aesop's Fables', 'Letters Written to and for Particular Friends' and Other Works
, pp. 401 - 402
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2011

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