The question of whether extraterrestrials exist has driven both the search for extraterrestrial intelligence (SETI) and some attempts of messaging to extraterrestrial intelligence (METI). Nevertheless, no data-driven or theory-based behavioural policy has been suggested. Here we simulate a comprehensive set of human–extraterrestrial strategic interactions, modelled as two-by-two game-theoretic matrices. We examine a sample of possible outcomes by relying on the theory of subjective expected relative similarity (SERS), which takes into account both the expected payoffs and the extent of strategic similarity – the prospects of the opponent making identical choices. Simulation results suggest: focusing messaging efforts on signalling of complete strategic similarity, monitoring potential alien communications for similarity-indicating signals, and using risk-averse decision rules for policy planning and decision-making. The discussion puts forward three guidelines for METI initiatives and addresses the relevance of the findings to human conflict management.