During wartime, the Constitution requires the president to lead the nation as commander-in-chief. But what about first ladies? As wives, mothers, and co-equal partners, these “first ladies-in-chief” have found themselves serving as field companion to the commander-in-chief, mother-in-chief to sons on combat duty, steward of national resources, and caretakers to the nation’s wounded. This chapter considers six prominent first ladies during major American conflicts: Martha Washington and the Revolutionary War, Dolley Madison and the War of 1812, Mary Todd Lincoln and the Civil War, Edith Wilson and World War I, Eleanor Roosevelt and World War II, Lady Bird Johnson and Vietnam, and Barbara and Laura Bush during the first and second Gulf Wars. Taken together, they paint the first lady as a vital contributor to the nation’s military efforts who deserve our recognition and respect.

Despite being unelected and unappointed, first ladies of the United States have served as notable political assets and liabilities before, during, and after their time in the White House. This chapter uses a variety of examples to illustrate the positive and negative impacts of first ladies as they have exerted their influence domestically and internationally, sometimes in alignment with and other times in opposition to their husband’s public agenda. These pages delineate the ways these women have been strategically deployed as emissaries for their husbands and as advocates for party policies, initiatives, and candidates up and down the ballot, as well as how they have instigated and mitigated scandals. The amorphous and often contradictory criteria for being an effective first lady expose every presidential spouse to criticism that is not always reasonable given the nebulous nature of the position.

In 235 years, only about two dozen women have experienced the role of “mourner in chief” as current or former first ladies grieving a presidential husband. This chapter examines the performances of six of these women in different historical contexts and under very different circumstances: Martha Washington, Mary Lincoln, Lucretia Garfield, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jacqueline Kennedy, and Nancy Reagan. This analysis considers first ladies’ performances of mourning during presidents’ illness or assassination; funerals and memorial services; and the expanse of time for which they survived their husbands. Through these case studies, the authors consider how a first lady’s mourning can shape her husband’s legacy, and what it can teach us about how Americans grieve.