Alone
Alone walking up the familiar route, next to you, each step as if never stepped before, the world around me getting smaller and falling into itself.
That nauseating feeling of unsettling newness, relentless. Unresolving. Unquenchable.
The watching from silent observers, judging, whispering. Always judging. Always there.
Crying and crying that incessant crying, unable to tell you when it has stopped or when he is calm
Unable to pacify
That incessant crying.
Getting up, checking, rechecking
What's that noise? Checking.
Unable to move, unable to stop, restless motionless silence and that continual crying.
Unable to tell you or explain, unable to know.
Can no one tell that I am not okay?
The crippling terror of the judgement, the fear, the guilt.
Voiceless screaming, actionless begging, whilst smiling, carrying on and pouring out tea
Us both crying
Alone.
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