The enrichment of the intergalactic medium (IGM) with heavy elements provides us with a record of past star formation and with an opportunity to study the interactions between galaxies and their environments. We summarize current data analysis methods and observational constraints on abundances in the diffuse, high-redshift (z>2) IGM. This review is targeted at interested outsiders and attempts to answer the following questions: Why should you care? What do we want to measure? How do we do it? What do we know? What are the common misconceptions?