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Published online by Cambridge University Press: 02 April 2024
at the REQUIEM MASS at Blackfriars, OXFORD, on 26th January 1978
“Ultimately, I cannot accept the framework of experience demanded and presupposed by the orthodox ecclesiastical tradition. I think I must face this, with consequences I can’t foretell. / have another tradition to which I am almost equally respectful—in some ways more so—the tradition of the human heart: novels, art, music, tragedy. I cannot allow that God can only be adored in spirit and in truth by the individual introverted upon himself and detached from all that might disturb and solicit his heart. It must be possible to find and adore God in the complexity of human experience. (Patrick White). On my deathbed, what in memory will I be grateful for? Where will my life have been most fully lived? And memory is a sort of history. The eschatological moment must be a fulfilment and consummation of human history and not its negation merely. Let me grasp this as true; then perhaps the pain may be more bearable. For of course there must be a negation and a separation at the heart of this affirmation and consent; and this remains the importance of the ecclesiastical tradition”.
That is a paragraph, without any editing, which Cornelius set down in a notebook in July or August 1972 (to judge from internal evidence). The exercise book is labelled “Meaning in theology”: the first draft, probably of the book that we so much wanted him to write. He covered some twenty pages, in his slightly backhand italic script. His notes become increasingly cryptic and private. The text breaks off with the aphorism: “No human affirmation without negation”.