Hostname: page-component-586b7cd67f-r5fsc Total loading time: 0 Render date: 2024-11-22T23:55:59.509Z Has data issue: false hasContentIssue false

Wanna Hear a Secret?: The Burden of Secret Concealment in Personal Relationships From the Confidant's Perspective

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  18 January 2018

Zhengyu (Tracy) Zhang*
Affiliation:
Department of Communication Studies, Moody College of Communication, The University of Texas at Austin, Austin, Texas, USA
René M. Dailey
Affiliation:
Department of Communication Studies, Moody College of Communication, The University of Texas at Austin, Austin, Texas, USA
*
ADDRESS FOR CORRESPONDENCE: Zhengyu (Tracy) Zhang, The University of Texas at Austin, Department of Communication Studies, 2504A Whitis Ave. (A1105), Austin, TX 78712-0115, USA. Email: [email protected]
Get access

Abstract

The current study assessed the burden associated with secret-keeping from confidants’ perspective. We proposed a cognition-affect-relationship model to explicate the interrelations between intra- and interpersonal consequences of confidants’ secret concealment. A total of 231 participants (Mage = 32.6 years) completed a survey on their experiences in keeping secrets for a close relational partner. A path model was conducted to test all hypotheses simultaneously. Results indicated that secret importance, valence, and negative face threat served as indicators of cognitive burden regarding secret-keeping. As predicted, cognitive burden was positively associated with negative affect. In addition, negative affect mediated the association between cognitive burden and relationship satisfaction, whereas secret characteristics were directly related to relational distancing. Overall, examining confidant burden provides insights on how secret-keeping might affect individuals and their relationships.

Type
Research Article
Copyright
Copyright © The Author(s) 2018 

Access options

Get access to the full version of this content by using one of the access options below. (Log in options will check for institutional or personal access. Content may require purchase if you do not have access.)

References

Afifi, W.A., Afifi, T.D., & Merrill, A. (2014). Uncertainty and control in the context of a category-five tornado. Research in Nursing and Health, 37, 358366. doi:10.1002/nur.21613 Google Scholar
Afifi, W.A., & Caughlin, J.P. (2006). A close look at revealing secrets and some consequences that follow. Communication Research, 33, 467488. doi:10.1177/0093650206293250.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Afifi, T.D., Shahnazi, A.F., Coveleski, S., Davis, S., & Merrill, A. (2017). Testing the ideology of openness: The comparative effects of talking, writing, and avoiding a stressor on rumination and health. Human Communication Research, 43, 76101.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Afifi, T., & Steuber, K. (2009). The Revelation Risk Model (RRM): Factors that predict the revelation of secrets and the strategies used to reveal them. Communication Monographs, 76, 144176. doi:10.1080/03637750902828412 Google Scholar
Aldeis, D., & Afifi, T.D. (2014). Putative secrets and conflict in romantic relationships over time. Communication Monographs, 82, 224251. doi. org/10.1080/03637751.2014.986747 CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Baxter, L.A., & Montgomery, B.M. (1996). Relating: Dialogue & dialectics. New York, NY: Guilford Press.Google Scholar
Bochner, A.P. (1982). On the efficacy of openness in close relationships . In Burgoon, M. (Ed.), Communication yearbook (pp. 109124). New Brunswick, NJ: Transaction Books.Google Scholar
Bok, S. (1989). Secrets: On the ethics of concealment and revelation. New York, NY: Vintage Books.Google Scholar
Bower, G.H. (1981). Mood and memory. American Psychologist, 36, 129148.Google Scholar
Brown, P., & Levinson, S.C. (1978). Universals in language usage: Politeness phenomena. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.Google Scholar
Buhrmester, M., Kwang, T., & Gosling, S.D. (2011). Amazon's Mechanical Turk a new source of inexpensive, yet high-quality, data?. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 6, 35.Google Scholar
Caughlin, J.P., Afifi, W.A., Carpenter-Theune, K.E., & Miller, L.E. (2005). Reasons for, and consequences of, revealing personal secrets in close relationships: A longitudinal study. Personal Relationships, 12, 4359.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Chelune, G.J., Vosk, B.N., Waring, E.M., Sultan, F.E., & Ogden, J.K. (1984). Self-disclosure and its relationship to marital intimacy. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 40, 216219.Google Scholar
Cupach, W.R., & Carson, C.L. (2002). Characteristics and consequences of interpersonal complaints associated with perceived face threat. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 19, 443462.Google Scholar
Cupach, W.R., & Metts, S. (1994). Facework. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.Google Scholar
Finkenauer, C., & Hazam, H. (2000). Disclosure and secrecy in marriage: Do both contribute to marital satisfaction?. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17, 245263.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Goffman, I. (1959). The presentation of self in everyday life. Garden City, NY: Doubleday.Google Scholar
Goffman, E. (1967). Interaction ritual. Garden City, NY: Anchor Books.Google Scholar
Harber, K.D., & Pennebaker, J.W. (1992). Overcoming traumatic memories. In Christensen, S.A. (Ed.), Balancing the secrets of private disclosure (pp. 5371). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.Google Scholar
Hayes, A.F. (2017). Introduction to mediation, moderation, and conditional process analysis: A regression-based approach. New York, NY: Guilford Publications.Google Scholar
Holtgraves, T. (1992). The linguistic realization of face management: Implications for language production and comprehension, person perception, and cross-cultural communication. Social Psychology Quarterly, June, 141159.Google Scholar
Huston, T.L., McHale, S.M., & Crouter, A.C. (1986). When the honeymoon's over: Changes in the marriage relationship over the first year. In Glimour, R. & Duck, S. (Eds.), The emerging field of personal relationships (pp.109132). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.Google Scholar
Kelly, A.E. (1999). Revealing personal secrets. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 8, 105109.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Kelly, A.E. (2000). Helping construct desirable identities: A self-presentational view of psychotherapy. Psychological Bulletin, 126, 475494.Google Scholar
Kelly, A.E. (2002). The psychology of secrets. New York, NY: Kluwer Academic/Plenum.Google Scholar
Kelly, A.E., & McKillop, K.J. (1996). Consequences of revealing personal secrets. Psychological Bulletin, 120, 450465.Google Scholar
Knobloch, L.K., & Solomon, D.H. (2003). Responses to changes in relational uncertainty within dating relationships: Emotions and communication strategies. Communication Studies, 54, 282305.Google Scholar
Lane, J.D., & Wegner, D.M. (1995). The cognitive consequences of secrecy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69, 237253.Google Scholar
Lazarus, R.S. (1991). Cognition and motivation in emotion. American Psychologist, 46, 352367.Google Scholar
Lazarus, R.S. (2001). Relational meaning and discrete emotions. In Scherer, K.R., Schorr, A., & Johnstone, T. (Eds.), Appraisal processes in emotion: Theory, methods, research (pp. 3767). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
LeBel, E.P., & Wilbur, C.J. (2014). Big secrets do not necessarily cause hills to appear steeper. Psychonomic Bulletin & Review, 21, 696700.Google Scholar
Lee, H.E., Park, H.S., Imai, T., & Dolan, D. (2012). Cultural differences between Japan and the United States in uses of ‘apology’ and ‘thank you’ in favor asking messages. Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 31, 263289.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Levine, L.J., & Safer, M.A. (2002). Sources of bias in memory for emotions. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 11, 169173.Google Scholar
Maas, J., Wismeijer, A.A., Van Assen, M.A., & Aquarius, A.E. (2012). Is it bad to have secrets? Cognitive preoccupation as a toxic element of secrecy. International Journal of Clinical and Health Psychology, 12, 2337.Google Scholar
Marroquín, B., Boyle, C.C., Nolen-Hoeksema, S., & Stanton, A.L. (2016). Using emotion as information in future-oriented cognition: Individual differences in the context of state negative affect. Personality and Individual Differences, 95, 121126.Google Scholar
McLaren, R.M., & Solomon, D.H. (2010). Appraisal and distancing responses to hurtful messages II: A diary study of dating partners and friends. Communication Research Reports, 27, 193206.Google Scholar
Paolacci, G., Chandler, J., & Ipeirotis, P.G. (2010). Running experiments on Amazon Mechanical Turk. Judgment and Decision Making, 5, 411419.Google Scholar
Parkinson, B. (1997). Untangling the appraisal-emotion connection. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 1, 6279.Google Scholar
Parks, M.R. (1982). Ideology in interpersonal communication: Off the couch and into the world . In Burgoon, M. (Ed.), Communication Yearbook (pp. 79107). New Brunswick, NJ: Transaction Books.Google Scholar
Pelham, B.W., & Swann, W.B. (1989). From self-conceptions to self-worth: On the sources and structure of global self-esteem. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 57, 672680.Google Scholar
Pennebaker, J.W. (1989). Stream of consciousness and stress: Levels of thinking. In Uleman, J.S. & Bargh, J.A. (Eds.), Unintended thought (pp. 327350). New York, NY: Guilford.Google Scholar
Pennebaker, J.W. (1990). Opening up: The healing power of confiding in others. New York, NY: William Morrow.Google Scholar
Pennebaker, J.W. (1997). Opening up: The healing power of expressing emotions (rev. ed.). New York, NY: Guilford Press.Google Scholar
Pennebaker, J.W., & Susman, J.R. (1988). Disclosure of traumas and psychosomatic processes. Social Science & Medicine, 26, 327332.Google Scholar
Petronio, S. (2000). The boundaries of privacy: Praxis of everyday life. In Petronio, S. (Ed.), Balancing the secrets of private disclosures (pp. 3749). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.Google Scholar
Petronio, S. (2002). Boundaries of privacy: Dialectics of disclosure. Albany, NY: Suny Press.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Petronio, S., & Bantz, C. (1991). Controlling the ramifications of disclosure: ‘Don't tell anybody but . . .’. Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 10, 263269.Google Scholar
Purdon, C. (2004). Empirical investigations of thought suppression in OCD. Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, 35, 121136.Google Scholar
Rodriguez, R.R., & Kelly, A.E. (2006). Health effects of disclosing secrets to imagined accepting versus nonaccepting confidants. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 25, 10231047.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Roseman, I.J., & Smith, C.A. (2001). Appraisal theory: Overview, assumptions, varieties, controversies. In Scherer, K.R., Schorr, A., & Johnstone, T. (Eds.), Appraisal processes in emotion: Theory, methods, research (pp. 319). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.Google Scholar
Salkovskis, P.M., & Campbell, P. (1994). Thought suppression induces intrusion in naturally occurring negative intrusive thoughts. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 32, 18.Google Scholar
Slepian, M.L., Camp, N.P., & Masicampo, E.J. (2015). Exploring the secrecy burden: Secrets, preoccupation, and perceptual judgments. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 144, 3142. doi. org/10.1037/xge0000052 Google Scholar
Slepian, M.L., Chun, J.S., & Mason, M.F. (2017). The experience of secrecy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000085 CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Slepian, M.L., Masicampo, E.J., & Ambady, N. (2014). Relieving the burdens of secrecy revealing secrets influences judgments of hill slant and distance. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 5, 293300.Google Scholar
Slepian, M.L., Masicampo, E.J., Toosi, N.R., & Ambady, N. (2012). The physical burdens of secrecy. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 141, 619624. http://doi.org/10.1037/a0027598 Google Scholar
Stiles, W.B. (1987). Verbal response modes as intersubjective categories. In Russell, R.L. (Ed.), Language in psychotherapy: Strategies of discovery (pp. 131170). New York, NY: Plenum Press.Google Scholar
Van Vessem, K.A.P.J. (2010). Validating the Tilburg Secrecy Scale-25: A study among students. Tilburg, the Netherlands: Department of Developmental, Clinical and Crosscultural Psychology, Tilburg University.Google Scholar
Vangelisti, A.L. (1994). Family secrets: Forms, functions and correlates. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 11, 113135.Google Scholar
Vangelisti, A.L., & Caughlin, J.P. (1997). Revealing family secrets: The influence of topic, function, and relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 14, 679705.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Vangelisti, A.L., Caughlin, J., & Timmerman, L. (2001). Criteria for revealing family secrets. Communication Monographs, 68, 127.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Vangelisti, A.L., & Crumley, L.P. (1998). Reactions to messages that hurt: The influence of relational contexts. Communications Monographs, 65, 173196.Google Scholar
Vangelisti, A., & Young, S. (2000). When words hurt: The effects of perceived intentionality on interpersonal relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17, 393424.Google Scholar
Vangelisti, A.L., Young, S.L., Carpenter-Theune, K.E., & Alexander, A.L. (2005). Why does it hurt? The perceived causes of hurt feelings. Communication Research, 32, 443477.Google Scholar
Vrij, A., Nunkoosing, K., Paterson, B., Oosterwegel, A., & Soukara, S. (2002). Characteristics of secrets and the frequency, reasons and effects of secrets keeping and disclosure. Journal of Community & Applied Social Psychology, 12, 5670.Google Scholar
Watson, D., Clark, L.A., & Tellegen, A. (1988). Development and validation of brief measures of positive and negative affect: the PANAS scales. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54, 10631070.Google Scholar
Wegner, D.M., & Lane, J.D. (1995). From secrecy to psychopathology. In Pennebaker, J.W. (Ed.), Emotion, disclosure, and health (pp. 2546). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Wenzlaff, R.M., & Wegner, D.M. (2000). Thought suppression. Annual Review of Psychology, 51, 5991.Google Scholar
Wismeijer, A.A., Sijtsma, K., Van Assen, M.A., & Vingerhoets, A.J. (2008). A comparative study of the dimensionality of the self-concealment scale using principal components analysis and Mokken scale analysis. Journal of Personality Assessment, 90, 323334.Google Scholar