1 Migne, PG 133, 1251–53. Our translation is based on the unpublished edition of Prodromic letters by M. Op de Coul, ‘Théodore Prodrome. Lettres et discours: édition, traduction, commentaire’ (Paris 2007, unpublished PhD dissertation) 89–91 (letter no. 4). We would like to extend our thanks to Dr. Op de Coul for sending us his PhD thesis.

2 ‘Sneer’ – μυκτήρ (LSJ s.v. I.2); rude (perhaps ‘broad’) – πλατύς (s.v. I.5); Op. de Coul takes it as a ‘bitter smack on the nose’ (je donnais d’âcres nasardes); perhaps the phrase may suggest the outpouring (κατέχεον) of nasal mucous.

3 ‘To give me a taste of my own medicine’; to joke about me the way I used to joke before.

4 Prodromos refers to Misopogon by Julian Apostate. It is unclear if he means by psogos the entire text or only this specific fragment where Julian describes his unkempt (philosophical) beard. The former is not impossible, (modern interpretations also tend to classify the entire text as the example of psogos), and Julian creatively uses psogos for his own purpose (that is ridiculing the people of Antioch). What is more, Julian's satire is somewhat similar to Prodromos’ letter in that he is both the author and the subject of abuse. On Misopogon as psogos see Quiroga, A., ‘Julian's Misopogon and the subversion of rhetoric’, Antiquité Tardive 17 (2009) 128–129 CrossRefGoogle Scholar.

5 Prodromos gives the following description of his own appearance: Letter no. 4 : ‘[. . .] Seen branded and tattooed all over the face, just like the labourers we see and the blacksmiths, their countenances marked with soot. Or, if you will, like serpents, shedding their skins and clad in scales, without the venom though. Or, like the flocks of Jacob, speckled and ashen. Stripped bare on the skull, with no hair whatsoever, and instead of that divine and golden-haired head, carrying a feeble little noggin above the neck; being both Elias and Paul on the head, without their prophetic and apostolic skills though. When will I reveal to you the injustice of the illness with my very lips?’

6 See Theodoros Prodromos. Historische Gedichte, ed. W. Hörandner, (Vienna 1974) 30–31; Codellas, P.S., ‘The case of smallpox of Theodore Prodromus’, Bulletin of the History of Medicine 20 (1946) 207–215 Google Scholar. For some new evidence concerning Prodromos’ life, see N. Zagklas, ‘Theodore Prodromos: the neglected poems and epigrams (Edition, Translation and Commentary)’, (Vienna 2014, unpublished PhD. dissertation) 52–72.

7 Letter no. 4: ‘[. . .] For amid the evils caused by that pestilence (both those already present and those expected) and having almost lost my soul to the illness, only in this one thing have I kindled my hopes that the calamity will also take hold of my huge and thick beard. And indeed this I kept telling myself: “O Wretched one, you suffer the shame of your appearance, the shedding of the blessed hair, that no one comes near you, that you are rejected, that even your relatives turn away from your sight like from the ill-omened days. But for all this you will have sufficient compensation in that the disease has also reached the accursed beard. From now on you are shedding the burden, getting rid of the goat smell, and have the appearance of a man rather than Pan [. . .].”’

8 For the newest edition see Migliorini, T., Gli scritti satirici in greco letterario di Teodoro Prodromo: introduzione, edizione, traduzione e commenti (Pisa 2010 Google Scholar, unpublished PhD dissertation) 19–28. The Italian translation with commentary: Anastasii, R., ‘Prodromea’, Siculorum Gymnasium 18 (1965) 164–172 Google Scholar. See also Magnelli, E., ‘Prodromea (con una nota su Gregorio di Nazianzo)’, Medioevo Greco 10 (2010) 110–144 Google Scholar.

9 ‘Yow ow ow’ (ἰαταταιάξ); an interjection defined by the ancient and Byzantine lexica as expressive of sorrow (θρηνητικὸν ἐπίρρημα; Sudas, s.v.); used in Old Attic Comedy (Aristophanes, Knights 1); the translation ‘Yow ow ow’ is Henderson's (Aristophanes, Acharnians, Knights, ed. and trans. J. Henderson, Cambridge, Mass. 1998).

10 ‘breast’, lit. the part of clothing which covers the breast (προκόλπιον).

11 ‘Ultimate fruit’ (ἄκρα εὐετηρία) – probably not only in the sense ‘greatest’ but also ‘last’ since Stageira was destroyed in Aristotle's lifetime (346 BC); cf. Migliorini, Gli scritti satirici, 25.

12 For the translation and explanation of this verse see Anastasi, ‘Prodromea’, 168, and Migliorini, Gli scritti satirici, 25.

13 Boissonade argued that Thoukritos was actually the real name of the targeted person, see Boissonade, G., Anecdota Graeca (Hildesheim 1962 Google Scholar, repr. Paris 1832) IV, 430.

14 The Lexicon of the Greek Personal Names (Oxford 1994-) gives only 12 historical instances down to Roman times, all limited to Attica, and drawn mostly from epigraphic sources (vol. II, s.v. Θουκρίτος). This name as a symbol of old age appears also in yet another twelfth-century work, Anacharsis, see Christidis, D. A., Μαρκιανὰ ἀνέκδοτα (1. Ἀναχάρσις ἢ Ἀνανίας; 2. Ἐπιστολές-Σιγίλλιο) (Thessalonike 1984) 395–96Google Scholar: ἀλλὰ κρονόληρόν με Θούκριτον ἥγηται.

15 Dial. mort. 16. The Lucianic dialogue tells the story of a young legacy hunter, Terpsion, who squandered his own means and health striving to inherit the wealth of the nonagenarian Thoukritos, and ultimately died before him. The name Thoukritos is never before associated with such a figure in extant literature; Prodromos’ Thoukritos is also very old, and elsewhere he uses the name as a byword for old age, see Against an old lustful woman 3 in Migliorini, Gli scritti satirici, 3.

16 The invective against old age seems to have been a popular topos in twelfth-century literature; see Papadopoulou, E., ‘Περί της ηλικίας και του γήρατος από τη γραμματεία του ενδέκατου και δωδέκατου αιώνα’, Byzantina Symmeikta 17 (2005) 131−198 CrossRefGoogle Scholar and more recently Kulhánková, M., ‘Το άμυαλο γήρας στη βυζαντινή και πρώιμη νεοελληνική λογοτεχνία’, Neograeca Bohemica 14 (2014) 41–49 Google Scholar. For a similar description of an old man, though not a philosopher, see Rhodanthe and Dosikles: Four Byzantine Novels, trans. with introduction and notes by E. Jeffreys (Liverpool 2012) 7.432–434: ποδαγριῶντα καὶ φαλακρὸν τὴν κάραν, | πολύτριχον γένειον ἐξηρτημένον, | καὶ τοῦτο λευκὸν καὶ κινάβρας ἐκπνέον; or with gout and a bald head, | and a beard hanging from his chin, | long and white and stinking of goats? The mockery of long beards is also a topic of correspondence between Andrew Lopadiotes and George Oinaiotes (14^th c.). Edition in Karlsson, G., Fatouros, G., ‘Aus der Briefsammlung des Anonymus Florentinus (Georgios ? Oinaiotes)’, Jahrbuch der Österreichischen Byzantinistik 22 (1973) 214–216. We owe this reference to Charis MessisGoogle Scholar.

17 The principal work here is Caster, M., Lucien et la pensée religieuse de son temps (Paris 1937) 9–122 Google Scholar; see also Anderson, G., Lucian. Theme and Variation in the Second Sophistic (Leiden 1976) 113–135 Google Scholar; Jones, C. P., Culture and Society in Lucian (Cambridge, Mass. 1986) 24–32 CrossRefGoogle Scholar.

18 Cf. Caster, Lucien, 16; Jones, Culture and Society, 28–9; among the positive specimens of Lucian's philosophers one might mention the Cynics: Demonax (Dem.) and Menippus (Vit. Auct.), the Academic Nigrinus (Nigr.) and the Epicurean Damis (JTr); on the historicity of some of these figures cf. Caster, Lucien 34, 73–81; Jones, Culture and Society, 90–95; Clay, D., ‘Lucian of Samosata. Four Philosophical Lives (Nigrinus, Demonax, Peregrinus, Alexander Pseudomantis)’, Aufstieg und Niedergang der Römischen Welt, II 36.5, 1992 Google Scholar.

19 Cf. eg. Icar 5, 29; JTr. 16.

20 It is sometimes assumed that philosophers belonging to different schools had distinctly different manners of tending (or not tending) to their beards, the chief source being Alciphr. 3.19.2–5; Lucian, however, seems to be indifferent to such details, as evident from his Vit. Auct. where no distinction in this respect is made among the representatives of various schools.

21 ‘οὐ κεὐ καταφρονήτος πώγων’ (Merc. Cond. 40).

22 Depth: Icar. 5 (γενείου βαθύτητι); 21, 29 (πώγωνας ἐπισπασάμενοι); Tim. 54 (ἐκπετάσας τὸν πώγωνα); cf. Icar. 10 (ἠυγενείοις ἀνδράσιν); Pisc. 11, 41–42; BisAcc.6; Eun.8; Herm.18, 86; Paras.50; Philops. 5; goat: Gall. 10 (τραγικὸς ἦν ἐς ὑπερβολὴν κουριῶν), Eun. 9; kinabra: Dial. Mort. 20.9; Pan: Bis Acc. 11; Zeus: JTr 16 (cf. Sacr. 11. Dial. Deor. 2.1); Zeus’ beard: Dial. Deor. 8.2 (πώγωνα τηλικοῦτον).

23 Bushy (λάσιος): Herm. 86; Dial. Mort 20.9; five pounds: πέντε μναῖ τριχῶν εἰσι τοὐλάχιστον (Dial. Mort 20.9).

24 Hist. conscr 17; cf. Peregr 40; Merc. Cond. 33; for the old age and grey hair of philosophers see also Icar. 21; Philops. 23.

25 See for instance Icar. 29; Tim. 54.

26 The τρίβων, the satchel (πήρα) and the staff (ξύλον): Tim. 56–7; Pisc. 11; Bis Acc. 6; sometimes presented more specifically as attributes of the Cynic (Vit. Auct. 7; Peregr. 15).

27 Following the meaning suggested by Magnelli, ‘Prodromea’, 122; the source of the anecdote is unknown (ibid.).

28 Cf. Zanker, P., The Mask of Socrates. The Image of the Intellectual in Antiquity, trans. Shapiro, A., (Berkeley 1995) 217–33Google Scholar; with the remarks of B. Borg, ‘Glamorous intellectuals. Portraits of Pepaideumenoi in the second and third centuries AD’, in Borg, B. (ed.), Paideia: The World of the Second Sophistic (Berlin 2014) 158–61Google Scholar; on kosmetai (Athenian magistrates responsible for the training of ephebes) see recently R. Krumeich, ‘“Klassiker” im Gymnasion. Bildnisse attischer Kosmeten der mittleren und späten Kaiserzeit zwischen Rom und griechischer Vergangenheit’, in Borg, Paideia, 131–55.

29 M. Caster, Lucien, 112–14; Bompaire, J., Lucien écrivain. Imitation et création (Paris 1958) 485–6Google Scholar; a different opinion was presented by Jones, Culture and Society, 31.

30 For the beard as ‘a claim to a higher (because older) form of wisdom’ cf. Zanker, Mask, 109; the first literary appearance of the bearded philosopher comes from an unknown fragmentary comedy by Phoinikides of Megara (early 3rd century BC): τρίτωι συνέζευξ᾿ ἡ τύχη με φιλοσόφωι, | πώγων᾿ ἔχοντι καὶ τρίβωνα καὶ λόγον (F 4.16 K-A = Stob. 3.6.13); it is usually assumed, however, that the figure of the bearded philosopher was invented in the Roman cultural milieu (as in Hor. Sat. 1.3.133; 2.3.35; Mart. 1.24; 1.96; 2.36; 6.56; 7.58; 7.9; 12.42; Gell. 9.2); cf. Zanker, Mask, 76; Sellars, J., The Art of Living. The Stoics on the Nature and Function of Philosophy (London 2003) 16 Google Scholar.

31 On Byzantine beards see S. Tougher, ‘Bearding Byzantium: masculinity, eunuchs and the Byzantine life course’, in Neil, B. and Garland, L. (eds), Questions of Gender in Byzantine Society (Farnham, 2013) 153–166 Google Scholar; Rautman, M., Daily Life in the Byzantine Empire (Westport, Conn. 2006) 47 Google Scholar; Bréhier, L., La civilisation byzantine (Paris 1950) 46–47 Google Scholar.

32 See A. P. Kazhdan, ed., The Oxford Dictionary of Byzantium I, 274, s.v. beard; Hatzaki, M., Beauty and the Male Body. Perceptions and Representations in Art and Text, (New York 2009)Google Scholar passim.

33 ODB, s.v. beard. See also Ch. Messis, ‘Lectures Sexuées de l’altérité. Les Latὶns et identité romaine menacée pendant les derniers siècles de Byzance’, Jahrbuch der Österreichischen Byzantinistik 61 (2011) 164–170.

34 Prodromos uses the same words in his descriptions. See for instance: Against an old man v. 44: καὶ τῆς κινάβρας ἔπνεον καὶ τοῦ γράσου Letter no. 4, s. 90 Op de Coul: καὶ ἐπὶ κινάβρᾳ κινάβραν ἀνθηφορῶν.

35 See Magdalino, P., The Empire of Manuel I Komnenos, (Cambridge 1993) 332 Google Scholar where he discusses this issue.

36 Migliorini, Gli scritti satirici, 69. Migliorini translates: ‘la retorica filosofica unitamente e la filosofia retorica’.

37 Dölger, F., ‘Zur Bedeutung von φιλόσοφος und φιλοσοφία in byzantinischer Zeit,’ in Dölger, Byzanz und die europäische Staatenwelt: Ausgewählte Vorträge und Aufsätze (Ettal 1953) 197–208 Google Scholar, especially at 202 where he discusses middle Byzantine examples and also Prodromos. In his satire, Prodromos himself gives the definition of the learned men (οἱ ἐν τοῖς λόγοις):

οὐ γὰρ στολαὶ κρίνουσι τοὺς ἐν τοῖς λόγοις, | οὐδ’ἐξαμοιβὴ ζώσματος καὶ βλαυτίου, | φύσις δὲ γοργὴ καὶ μάθησις βιβλίων, | ἀπόκρισις καὶ πεῦσις εὐλογωτάτη.

For it is not garments that distinguish learned men | nor the changing fashions of belts and sandals, | but spirited nature and learning from books, | and great eloquence in argument and inquiry (83–86). On the rhetors and philosophers in Byzantium see also S. Papaioannou, ‘Rhetoric and the philosopher in Byzantium’, in K. Ierodiakonou and B. Bydén (eds), Essays in Byzantine Philosophy (Athens 2012) 171–197.

38 See Magdalino, The Empire of Manuel I, 336, on Nikolaos Kataphloron's testimony. Kataphloron speaks of ‘thousand and myriad sophists’ as fertile as rabbits. This text is now available in a new edition, Loukaki, M., ‘Tυμβωρῦχοι καὶ σκυλευτὲς νεκρῶν: Οι απόψεις του Νικολαόυ Καταφλώρονγια τη ρητορικὴ και τους ρήτορες στην Κωνσταντινούπολητου 12ου αιώνα’, Symmeikta 14 (2001) 143–166 CrossRefGoogle Scholar. That Constantinople was infested with a great number of grammatikoi might also be inferred from the works of John Tzestes, see Bazzani, M., ‘The historical poems of Theodore Prodromos, the epic-Homeric revival and the crisis of intellectuals in the twelfth century’, Byzantinoslavica 65 (2007) 226 Google Scholar. For earlier, eleventh century, examples of the rivalry between the schoolteachers see Bernard, F., Writing and Reading Byzantine Secular Poetry, 1025–1081 (Oxford 2014) 269–272 Google Scholar.

39 Zagklas in his recent PhD proposes to interpret a fragment of the poem no. XXXVIII (to Anna Komnene) as an attempt at coupling grammar, rhetoric and philosophy:

[50] καὶ δὴ γραμματικῆς μὲν ἀπείριτον οἶδμα θαλάσσης | εὔπλοος ἐξεπέρησα, φορὸν δέ με πνεῦμα κατέπνει, | ῥητροσύνης μετέπειτα τὸν ε ριπον ἐξεπλοήθην, | εὔριπον ἀτρεκέως, τῇ γὰρ καὶ τῇ μεταπίπτει | ἀστατέων καὶ ἄνδιχ’ ἀείστροφον οἶμον ἐλαύνει· | ὠκεανὸς δέ μ’ δεκτο μετήλυδα φιλοσοφίας, | [55] μείζων ὠκεανοῖο μέρος μέγα τοῦ περὶ γαίην· | κεῖνος μὲν γὰρ ἅπασαν ἐπέλλαβε τὴν χθόνα μούνην, | αὐτὰρ ὁ καὶ γαίην καὶ οὐρανόν, ἄλλα τε πάντα | ἐντὸς χει διέπων περιδέξια, θαῦμα ἰδέσθαι· | τοῦτον ἐγὼ περίειμι καὶ ὃν μὲν ἐπήλυθα κόλπον

[50] Having a good journey I passed through, while a favourable wind blew upon me, | thereupon, I sailed away for the narrow ditch of rhetoric, | truly a narrow sea, for the rhetoric is variable | an ever-changing path drives me unceasingly and far away | the ocean of philosophy received me as foreign settler, | [55] the great part of the ocean, larger in comparison with the land; | for that one got hold not only of the land, | but both land and heaven, and everything else | which it occupies inside and ambidextrously conducts, a wonder to be beheld; [60] that one I surpassed and traversed such a gulf (trans. N. Zagklas), see Zagklas, Theodore Prodromos, 64–65.

40 Prodromos is praised as both an excellent rhetor and philosopher in a schedos by the ‘rather obscure figure of the monk Ioannikios’. See Zagklas, Theodore Prodromos, 60.

41 See, for instance. Marciniak, P., ‘Prodromos, Aristophanes and a lustful woman’, Byzantinoslavica 73 (2015) 23–34 Google Scholar.