While supporting the need to make class and other forms of marginalisation more visible in the understanding of, and response to, domestic violence, this article argues that, domestic violence is ultimately a discursive phenomenon and that patriarchal discourse remains the fount of domestic violence. This conclusion was drawn after data from a qualitative study of 24 men, from different cultural groups (ethnic, religious, racial, age and class), who had used violence in an intimate heterosexual relationship was considered, alongside ethnographical accounts of societies in which domestic violence is deemed not to have occurred, or to have been minimal. Whereas egalitarian and respectful attitudes towards women are enshrined in the discourse and social institutions of tribes such as the Semai and Waorani, in which intimate partner violence was absent, the most overwhelming discovery of the qualitative study was that class and cultural differences, evident in an analysis of the men's narratives, seemed to be eclipsed by the preeminence and strength of gendered discourse, in keeping with Western patriarchal dictates.