In 1947, two years after its unconditional surrender, Japan adopted a new constitution. This constitution has attracted great interest over the years, mostly due to its famous Article 9, which even was recently nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. This constitution has increasingly become known as a symbol of pacifist ideals and has given rise to extensive local and international discourse since its establishment. Contrary to popular perception, however, I make the case that this constitution, and Article 9 in particular, do not withstand close philosophical and historical scrutiny as pacifist—not by nature, not by function and not by circumstance. The problematic categorization of Japan as a “pacifist country,” and the Japanese public as a whole as “pacifist”, are also addressed.