This article draws on material from the Bangor Longitudinal Study of Ageing. The survivors, now all 80 plus, were interviewed first in 1979 and for the last time in 1995. This paper concentrates on friendship over that period. Answers to questions about the presence or absence of ‘real friends’ and about satisfaction with the status quo are related to personal strategies for managing change in the friendship network. Four types of response to current levels of friendship are identified: contented, dissatisfied, needy and resigned. Examples are given from each category, drawing on qualitative data.

Findings suggest three types of movement over the 16 years in the relationships of these very old respondents: contraction in the friendship network, expansion, and the replacement of departed friends or fading friendships. New friendships were unusual in departing from same-sex, same age and reciprocal norms of adult friendship. The findings indicate that older adult friendships might breach several of the norms of friendship common in earlier adulthood; the distinctiveness of close relationships in advanced old age calls for its treatment as a separate life stage.