The contribution made by informal carers to the provision of care in the community in the UK is formally acknowledged in the 1995 Carers (Recognition and Services) Act. This legislation has focused attention, once again, on the relationship between formal services and those providing informal care. The Act has re-created a lack of clarity about the position carers hold in the carer dyad. Findings are presented here from an exploratory study about the experience of dementia. This seeks to examine the realities of caring for a relative with dementia in the context of three particular aspects of the caring activities which relate to role ambiguity: the needs of carers, their relationship with formal services and their position as being experienced and skilled in the care of their relatives.