22nd September.—Ballygunge.—It is about two years since first I saw this place, then the residence of Jane Allan.… In the present weak state of my health and irritability of my nerves I ought not to have come here, and would give anything to be gone; everything I see recalls some painful story.

Captain Bruce goes off to Calcutta after breakfast and Fenton generally with him. Mrs. B. like all ladies of her country is never visible until evening, so I wander about listlessly for hours, hardly conscious of anything around me. There is a young English lady here, a pleasing person, but she too seems depressed and silent, and we are too much strangers to be any relief to each other; besides, the source of my unhappiness is one which will not bear communication with a stranger. She sees I am ill, and is courteous and attentive, then she goes to her dressing-room and I to mine.

As I lie on my bed I can see the windows of the room we formerly inhabited, if I look over the compound I retrace those walks that at daylight we used to tread together. Oh! with what elastic spirits, at the earliest dawn, I used to hurry on my clothes, to enjoy the splendour of an Eastern sunrise, where everything was matter of curiosity and interest … I have sung there from perfect lightness of heart, and though Niel's spirits were never high he was ever cheerful and shared the slightest excitement on my part.