I have a coworker (whom I'll refer to as “Bill”) who can't seem to stop talking like a pirate and keeps a parrot in the lab! It wouldn't be so bad, but he insists on keelhauling his fellow technicians and giving no quarter as he takes over bench space. The parrot sits on his shoulder while he uses the TEM. Consequently we find bird droppings all over the view port and keyboard. The rapscallion's shoulder is almost always stained and reeks of parrot guano. And the ghastly parrot spouts pirate curses on everyone and uses foul language at inopportune moments. I keep finding cracker crumbs in the oddest locations. Bill keeps going off with “Shiver me timbers” this and “Splice the main brace” that. It gets rather annoying since we aren't all piratey and don't know the lingo. Last Wednesday Bill came in bathed in an aura of rum and complaining about some strumpet when he “cracked Jenny's tea cup!” He's even begun dressing the part and wearing an eye patch. Says it helps to see in the darkened room when viewing samples. At least we've made lemonade from the lemons by claiming his missing eye as a handicap for EEO purposes. I'm afraid he may start bringing in cutlasses and cat-o-nine tails next. Our technicians are threatening to mutiny. What can be done?

At our last microscopy society council meeting, the Mac users were having trouble finding the appropriate adaptors or “dongles.” This ended up as a comparison of their “thingies” (as they put it) to see which would work and then a comparison of the ages of their “thingies.” I find this trend to compare and discuss “thingies” out in the open to be disturbing. Is there any way to curb this behavior?

Following is a list of microscopy related meetings and courses. The editors would greatly appreciate input to this list via the electronic submission form under “events/other microscopy events” at the MSA webpage: www.microscopy.org. We will gladly add hypertext links to the notice on the web and insert a listing of the meeting in the next issue.

Following is a list of microscopy related meetings and courses. The editors would greatly appreciate input to this list via the electronic submission form under “events/other microscopy events” at the MSA webpage: www.microscopy.org. We will gladly add hypertext links to the notice on the web and insert a listing of the meeting in the next issue.

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We need to be able to block stray light from our inverted microscope with two-photon capability. I know people drape cloth over their microscopes, but I'm not sure what kind of cloth. Is there a special material? Will it really keep stray light from reaching my scope?

We keep trying to make formvar-coated grids but have trouble getting the film to release from the glass slides. Any suggestions other than using nose grease?

The field of electron microscopy, by its diverse nature, abounds with acronyms: AEM, EF-TEM, ESEM, FE-SEM, HREM, HRTEM, HVEM, SEM, STEM, TEM, and VP-SEM, to name a few of the instruments. Add in the different forms of data that these instruments might collect, and it can be overwhelming: ADF, BF, BSE, CBED, CL, DF, EBIC, EBSD/BEKP/BKD/EBSP, ECCI, EDS/EDX, EELS, HAADF, NBD, SAD, and SE. For the brave reader, check out the acronym listing at the beginning of DB Williams and CB Carter's series on TEM.