In Parts I and II we looked at the right and wrong way of thinking about happiness. In Part I we looked at the wrong way, which is how we typically think about happiness in modern society. Happiness is about security, control and certainty. We know what we need to be happy, it's just reality that stands in our way. By having control over our circumstances, we can change ourselves, others and our environment to our liking. We can create the stable circumstances that will give us a lasting sense of meaning and satisfaction.

The problem with this strategy is that its outcomes are impossible and the process involved blinds us to many of the things that matter. We spend our days in problem-solving bubbles, ticking off items from our to-do list, achieving our goals and projects, trying to protect ourselves from our fears, trying to be better, healthier and happier. These things may improve our lives, but no matter how much progress we make, they will merely be the tip of the iceberg.

In Part II we looked at an alternative way of thinking about happiness. Instead of control, happiness is about understanding. Instead of being so sure of the things we need to be happy, we can embrace uncertainty and pay attention to what we don't know. Instead of trying to control our circumstances, we can be curious about ourselves, others and our environment and see the world in non-habitual ways. This process opens us up to beauty and gratitude, and helps us respond with greater flexibility to the challenges we face. Over time, we can discover what we most care about and are truly capable of.

The outcome of this process is an ongoing acknowledgement of our insecurity and learning how to live well within it. With compassion, we can gain a deeper understanding of what matters and how to care for ourselves and other living things. This outcome is far from living happily ever after – the right way of thinking about happiness does not promise a lasting sense of meaning and satisfaction.