Anger, thick with anxiety, is a signature of the age. Outrage comes easy, often leads, and thrives like a weed. An affront, a retort, THAT escalated quickly, and who can remember how it began, much less how to stop it.

Polarization, they call this: the passing exhilaration of flexing muscle, flying the bird, or clicking send on that crafty tweet; the chronic dread of return missiles, or worse. Us versus Them, loathing and fear, bodies braced for what comes next in the gripping drama of demonization. In such times, pressing pause can change the game, bringing other options into play.

Like listening to what else ‘fuck you’ might say.

I write this in the wake of the 2020 US presidential elections—the day after, to be precise, when the outcome remains unknown but hope springs eternal. I run errands to distract myself from the endless counting. Unsuspecting, I walk into a glass-cutting shop, and it is all I can do not to turn and walk out.

Three men glance my way, and I cringe as they pull up their masks begrudgingly, eyes rolling. I wince at the multiplying cues I don't belong, at the dawning: I just strolled into MAGA2 town. I should’ve known; I should’ve avoided this place, stayed in safer space. I’m in no mood for this today, and from the looks of it, neither are they.

But I also come prepared, a woman reared on red meat, the religious right, and bottomless awe for rugged, enterprising, down-to-earth, red-blooded, and thoroughly white American masculinity. I may have pulled myself out of it, but I will always be the daughter of a Trump-supporting family, and I sure as hell know what to do. I’ve got all the snappy quips to needle these dudes. Yeah, my highly raised, highly educated eyebrow is what they’ll remember, when they’re mocking me in a last gasp of deflated manhood. Game on, boys; armor ready.

Then he greets me kindly, with the courtesy he's learned to show a woman—or some women, anyway. Disarmed, I can't help but notice that the nerves racking this room are not only mine. These guys are jittery, unsure how to step around me, ill at ease on this of all days, but trying. We share this tension, and it's an opening.