3 - What Is a Wise Mother?
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 05 June 2012
Summary
[Good mothers] are dynamic and busy but they are also kind. They don't express their kindness openly but they have an internal kindness, the real kind inside.
(Chihiro, college educated, low self-efficacy mother of two)I don't know. Maybe [a good mother is] a person who can say, “It's right” when it is right and the person who doesn't do anything wrong, or who doesn't bother other people especially in a public place, so a person who can scold their children.
(Junko, high school educated, low self-efficacy mother of two)Well, when the child has problems or has hit the wall, if I could be a source of security just by being next to him. It's not like I can say something or do something for him, but if I could provide a sense of security or be near him and if that could help him overcome the issue on his own.
(Asako, high school educated, high self-efficacy mother of two)These comments by three of the focal mothers in our study introduce some of the key elements of being a “wise mother” that have characterized Japanese child rearing in the past as well as the present. In these excerpts, Chihiro, the frustrated industrial design engineer, ponders the affective side of parenting. Asako, the serene and confident athlete, focuses more on socialization, expressing her view that a mother should be a watchful presence but let children learn through experiencing the natural consequences of their actions rather than by being explicitly taught how to behave.
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- Women and Family in Contemporary Japan , pp. 27 - 50Publisher: Cambridge University PressPrint publication year: 2010