Scene One
from The Mother of All Eating
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 21 May 2019
Summary
Music, guitar and drums. Lights rise. There are two chairs on the stage which is otherwise devoid of sets. Humming outside. A knock. Another knock. THE MAN walks in. He is an executive type in a business suit. He holds a briefcase.
THE MAN: Honey, I am home! Now where is she? Hello! Honey! I am home!
He looks around the room, but ‘honey’ is nowhere to be seen.
THE MAN: Where can she be? She hasn't even left me a note. [Laughs.] A ‘dear John’ note perhaps. [Laughs.] Not on your life. We have a good life together. You know, I have been fortunate in many respects, and I never stop counting my blessings, especially as far as she is concerned.
The phone rings. He lifts the receiver.
THE MAN: Hello! Oh, it's you, Jane. No, she is not here. I thought she was with you, as a matter of fact… Oh, my God, I wonder where she's gone to, particularly at this time of the night … Well I have just walked in … From Johannesburg … By plane, yes … Well, the plane was delayed … A very strange thing happened on the way from Johannesburg. I will tell you all about it this weekend. You are coming to dinner, aren't you? … How's your man? … How many men do you have then? … I mean Joe, your husband. You know, Jane, I think Joe has a lot to learn about life … Yes, I sing about that every day. I will not stop pestering you two about the way you conduct your lives, or misconduct your lives. That's what friends are for, and frankly I am very much concerned. This life is not for playing with. If he wants to mess up his life he must not drag you along with him. You deserve much better. The best things in life, like all the other women of our class … Jane, I know we have been over that many times before … But I always hope that one day you will see the light … Anyway, give me Joe. I want to talk with him … What? He's not there, and you have no idea where he's gone to?
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- Information
- Fools, Bells and the Habit of EatingThree Satires, pp. 3 - 6Publisher: Wits University PressPrint publication year: 2002