I had known Sari Marlina years before my project started, via the Facebook group Indonesian Atheist, in which we were both members. She replied to my announcement about my plan to gather personal stories of the families of the victims in 1965 Indonesia right away. A freelance photographer, Sari posts actively on her Facebook page, commenting on the social and political conditions in Indonesia.

I was close to bapak, since I was young. We often watched the BBC News from London together until really late at night or even at dawn. Sometimes we sat outside, and while watching the moon, bapak told me a story about himself.

He was born in Klaten [Central Java], in 1945, the second child of six brothers and sisters. His parents gave him the name Sabar [meaning ‘patient’], as they hoped that my father would be patient in facing difficulties in life, especially because they lived around gambling houses and other sites of petty crimes. But after members of the Communist Party got active in his village, gambling was gradually disappearing and the crime rate reduced. This attracted my father to the party.

When my father had not yet graduated from high school, his uncle Wardoyo, a party member in Jakarta, asked him to join. My father thought that he was too young, but Wardoyo assured ayah [father] that he was able to do it. One night, with three other men, young Sabar said his oath as a Communist Party member. Because Sabar was sharp, other political parties also wanted him to join them. To prevent Sabar from joining other parties, Wardoyo asked Sabar to come with him to Jakarta. Sabar got a job at the Directorate of People's Agriculture in the Pasar Minggu area and he lived together with Wardoyo.

In mid-1965, the gossip about the establishment of the Council of Generals from the army spread. This Council of Generals was believed by some to have planned a coup against Sukarno. Then, another rumour: the Cakrabirawa regiment [which had a duty to guard Sukarno] and the air force tried to counter the coup by kidnapping seven generals. But Sabar and his friends did not know for sure whether this was true or not. So every day they listened to the radio belonging to one of the party cadres.