The days, weeks and months passed, filled with work, air raid duty, hunger, shortage of sleep and above all fear. Fear of what might come, fear of the next day. Fear of the next night. Looking back, the time between the winter of 1943–44 and spring 1945 is hazy. I only know that in the wintertime I was constantly cold and had chilblains in my feet, that the stomach ulcers made life a misery, that I was almost always hungry and was always tired. I lived one day at a time.

Occasionally I visited the ben Ahmeds. On one of those visits I heard that some of our young “countrymen” had been sterilized against their will when they had to go into hospital for one reason or another.14 Now there was another sword of Damocles hanging over me. I had always been careful in my dealings with other people, especially in my choice of words. Because of my stammer I always had to think through in advance what I wanted to say and what I would be able to say. It had got so strong that I could barely formulate a meaningful sentence. Now I became even more cautious. The ulcers came and went; I tried to hold them off with bicarbonate of soda, without much success.

Once there was a sign on the noticeboard calling for specialist workers to volunteer for war-related work at a location on the Baltic coast. Good pay and accommodation were promised. Interested men should report to the management. The call was directed mainly at mechanics, lathe and milling tool operators and skilled workers of that kind. A few people did volunteer, and they were given leave from the plant and a few days later were gone. Just about a year later a few came back and brought horrific reports of Peenemünde, which was where they had been sent. Of a night raid by the Royal Air Force which left many workers dead and injured. They were glad to have escaped that inferno.

Nazi propaganda linked the American air raids on German cities to the presence of black pilots in the US Air Force. The raids were depicted as though it was mainly African Americans who were flying the bombers and killing German women and children. In fact, there were African American pilots. Of course I only learned that much later.