I remember the email exchange with crystal clarity. Was I planning to attend my 35th high school reunion? That so many years had passed since I’d walked across a stage in a sea foam green dress, borrowed from my mother's closet, was rather a blow. Were the early 80s really 35 years behind me? How many years had I frittered away in a career I was OK at (but heck, it sounded darn impressive on my CV!)? Once I’d mildly recovered from the shock, I emailed the sender back with a short ‘never heard a thing about it’, to receive a rapid fire ‘maybe they couldn't find you’, response. OK. Or maybe the real answer to being left off the reunion guest list was karma: that is, my desire to never attend an alumni reunion was honoured.

Confession time! I have actively avoided alumni events (that is, even when I do make it onto the guest list).

Oh, the irony is not lost on me. I, a networking expert, avoid alumni gatherings. Perhaps it's the impending imposter syndrome that sneaks up as I imagine polite small talk about my life (two divorces you say?) and why yes, I’m a writer and speaker living in New York City (maybe drop the NYC mention, as I wouldn't want to come across as uppity when inevitably asked, ‘what are you doing these days?’). All the while, during this imaginary alum exchange, I’m rapidly popping machine-cubed Swiss cheese into my mouth, gulping wine from a plastic cup, and wondering if I can discretely make a flash exit before someone from the alumni relations office approaches, seeking a donation.

Have you imagined similar alumni reception scenarios?

Thankfully for you (and me), Maria L. Gallo has written The Alumni Way: Building Lifelong Value from Your University Investment, banishing all the outdated notions of what is possible when it comes to engaging and contributing to alumni communities. And, preferably for both institutions and individuals, engagement should be approached as a lifelong, rather than a periodic, exchange, especially during those pendulous phases (between class reunions and/ or capital campaigns) when our hopes, dreams, and ambitions could truly benefit from a boost of real support – the sort of support which only comes from being part of a familiar, trusted network.