Older people are increasingly being cared for in the community across Europe. Dependent care in Spain largely remains a private issue involving family carers and migrant women from developing countries. Qualitative research on respite care has contributed to our understanding of respite as a subjective experience. Nonetheless, how care-givers relieve the burden of care is still not fully understood. Migrant care-givers are present in family life but their need for rest remains unseen. The aim of the study presented in this paper was to contrast family care-givers and migrant care-givers' strategies for relief from their caring role. Care-givers rest by thinking, doing and being but in a different manner from that of care-giving, that is: when they are a different person. To leave the life of care-giving is the general strategy that family care-givers use to rest from their care-giving selves while turning to one's own world describes the way migrant care-givers seek to relieve the burden of care. The comparative analysis shows that both strategies have in common the necessity to disconnect from the care-giving identity and that both migrant and family care-givers employ strategies that are false exits to a care-giving identity: they apparently relieve the burden of care. Respite goes beyond places, times and activities; as family care itself, it requires identity.