This study uses constructivist grounded theory to explore older women's responses to the unexpected need to provide financial, emotional and residential support to their adult children who were experiencing problems with mental illness, substance abuse and/or absence of employment. Twenty-nine American women (>60) were interviewed:55 per cent were poor and half were women of colour. Using the theoretical model of intergenerational ambivalence, three types of structural ambivalence are discovered: mothers’ reactions to their adult children's behaviour that violate expectations for reciprocity; women's dismayed reactions to their adult children's aggressive behaviours towards themselves as their mothers; and the women's struggle regarding balancing their role as a mother to protect their adult children alongside their wish and identified needs for self-care. All of the conflicts were expressed within the frame of their role of mother. The internalised mandate to be ‘a good mother’ resulted in many experiencing shame, self-blame and guilt, and this self-blame was an obstacle to reaching out for help. This study adds to the growing body of feminist gerontological research and examines the ideological and structural variables that influence the predominance of female unpaid family care-givers in later life. The dilemma for older women with troubled adult children is both personal and political.

This study examines the relationship between filial piety (adult children's filial behaviours and attitudes as well as elderly mothers’ overall evaluation of children's filial piety) and elderly mothers’ reports of intergenerational ambivalence (positive feelings, negative feelings and combined ambivalence) in rural China. We analysed the data from a survey in 2016 covering 2,203 adult children and 802 elderly mothers in Sichuan Province using a two-level mixed-effects modelling analysis. The results indicate that most components of filial piety are associated with mothers’ ambivalence, in that less ambivalence was reported by mothers when their adult children provided more emotional support to, had less conflict with and were evaluated as more filial by their mothers. Interestingly, mothers demonstrated greater positive feelings when their children were more filial in behaviour and attitude, but they also reported greater negative feelings and ambivalence when their children were more obedient, implying that absolute obedience to elderly parents might no longer be accepted by people. These findings may provide further understanding about the correlation between the culture of filial piety and intergenerational relationships in rural China.