During the 1980s, the AIDS crisis unleashed a torrent of animosity against gays and lesbians. As hatred rose, so too did physical assaults. Most of the perpetrators were teenagers, who did not just torment queer adults – they also directed their anger and hatred at their peers. As a result, a substantial percentage of gay and lesbian youth dropped out of school, abused alcohol and drugs, and attempted suicide. Two types of violence consequently plagued queer life: violence from attackers and self-harm. Some advocates responded by focusing on preventing attacks on the streets. They worked with police to improve their responses and lobbied legislators to enact hate crimes protections, which helped make antiqueer violence visible. Others, typically teachers and parents of queer children, focused on creating support systems in schools, so that gay and lesbian teens would not give up hope for a better future.

Gay and lesbian rights groups had tried to combat violence by legislating against hate and supporting queer students in schools, but these projects did not address the root of the violence – the prejudice and hatred that children learned at an early age. To forestall hate crimes, queer rights advocates consequently turned their attention to educational curricula, lobbying schools to identify same-sex sexuality as a matter of benign difference. These advocates met with intense resistance, which restricted their ability to secure even limited reforms. What ultimately transformed the social and legal landscape were the straight family members of gays and lesbians, who came out in droves in the 1990s. These mothers and fathers drew national attention to the plight of their sons and daughters, helping make violence visible. They also helped the country see that support for families and support for gay and lesbian rights were one and the same.