Given the peculiarly linguistic approach that contemporary philosophers use to apply St. Thomas Aquinas’s arguments on the immateriality of the human soul, this paper will present a Thomistic-inspired evaluation of whether artificial intelligence/machine learning (AI/ML) chatbots’ composition and linguistic performance justify the assertion that AI/ML chatbots have immaterial souls. The first section of the paper will present a strong, but ultimately crucially flawed argument that AI/ML chatbots do have souls based on contemporary Thomistic argumentation. The second section of the paper will provide an overview of the actual computer science models that make artificial neural networks and AI/ML chatbots function, which I hope will assist other theologians and philosophers writing about technology, The third section will present some of Emily Bender’s and Alexander Koller’s objections to AI/ML chatbots being able to access meaning from computational linguistics. The final section will highlight the similarities of Bender’s and Koller’s argument to a fuller presentation of St. Thomas Aquinas’s argument for the immateriality of the human soul, ultimately arguing that the current mechanisms and linguistic activity of AI/ML programming do not constitute activity sufficient to conclude that they have immaterial souls on the strength of St. Thomas’s arguments.