Dear Abbe,

With all the Hollywood remakes of super hero and comic book character movies, what is your favorite super hero? Do you think there could be a microscopy super hero?

Fantasy Fan from Fargo, ND

Dear Geek-boy,

I can truly say I have never thought about the nascent super heroes portrayed with lucrative product endorsement contracts in today's movies. Super heroes in my day were industrialists and intellectuals. Growing up, I always wanted to be Al-Hazan. I would pretend to be the famous Persian, don my amamah, and yell “Focus!” Several eunuchs from the pasha's seraglio would rush over to the microscope and begin frantically turning knobs. I also admired Robert Hooke and his able assistant, Smee. They seemed to always be simultaneously getting into and getting out of trouble. I can envision several super heroes with amazing powers that are yet to be seen in these days. I can picture Clean Lens Avenger, Reproducible Results Man, the UV Lantern, and Infinite Focus Woman. All we need is a cocktail of nuclear power plant waste, toxic sludge, and immersion oil to be injected into some unsuspecting lab partner! If it works, you may have a blockbuster on your hands.

Dear Abbe,

I am considering volunteering to host the next annual meeting of the Southeastern Microscopy Society. What would be your advice?

Busy Boy in Brunswick

Dear Busy,

Hosting a meeting? Do you have tenure yet? My initial reaction is that you have had too much to drink at the society banquet. Either that or Bob Price has slipped some Veronal-Acetate buffer into your dessert. Although affiliated-society meetings are important throughout your country, to organize one you must have no fear and great patience. At the request of my good friend Matthias Jakob Schleiden, I was once asked to host a similar meeting in Leipzig. While the scientific program was well-attended and interesting, things got a bit out of hand one evening when Schleiden challenged Albert Kölliker to a game of darts. One of Kölliker's throws went astray and hit Matthias's wife in the arm. She wasn't badly hurt but the ensuing brawl that erupted ended up with half the participants spending the night in the local rathouse being sternly lectured by a most unhappy magistrate!

Are your superhero tights bunching up at the thought of dealing with your lab mates? Write to Abbe's assistant at [email protected] for all your exigent problems.