Dear Abbe,
I have a user who insists on growing cells in plastic well plates, and I am trying to come up with a good way to punch or cut out individual wells without disturbing the cells too much. The idea is to put them on a glass slide for the microscope. Is there a tool that works well on 96- and 384-well plates? I tried to get them to use glass so imaging on our microscope would be easier, but they are stubborn about using plastic.
Earl from Corning, NY
Dear Earl-enmyer,
I'm afraid I have no tool that works well on 96 or any other number of wells for cutting out the wells. Maybe using a precise painting of acetone along the edges would work? My forte is more along the lines of punching them out. It is a little known fact that I became interested in the pugilistic arts and sparred with Max Schmeling. Max and I became good friends at a Bierschenke after a row with some unruly patrons. After sparring mentally with my colleagues, a physical outlet was welcomed. Of course, everyone knows the long-standing relationship of microscopists and boxing, and this has been the basis of many sample techniques. For example, the “Gentleman Jim” of cryo-EM fame is named in honor of American boxer James Corbett. Just take out your fingerling boxing gloves and punch those little devils right out. A few cells might be offended by your violent method, but they're going to be unhappy under the scope anyway.
Dear Abbe,
Would you like to become a millionaire? If so, you should invest the massive royalties from your syndicated column in my new venture: the Laboratory Shopping Network! As an investor, you could ensure your own wealth by promoting our products in your column. This month, we will have a special on zircon knives for microscopists who cannot afford diamonds.
Grayson in Hoosier Land
Dearest Grayson!
Is this a trick question? I am already a millionaire! As for my extensive royalties, they are tied up in nanotech personal hygiene products. As for promotion, I already have several products that we developed and I am spokesperson for: a device to convert old glass plate lantern slides into JPEGs, 24K tennis bracelets made from spent sputter coater targets, a combination microtome/back massager, and my personal favorite, the snuggie lab coat! I would have more creations for product development, but I invested early on with Sir Tommy Sopwith and his “Bat Boat” and lost quite the bundle. My assistant assures me that you are an excellent risk, but I've learned to consult my financial advisor, Herr Bankrotteur, in all investment decisions. I'll have my people contact your people.
If you have a bundle to invest, send your cash in unmarked bills to Herr Abbe in care of his assistant, Herr Shields at [email protected].
