The paper examines the upbringing of five teenagers between 1671 and 1860. It is based on close reading of their diaries. It deals with the relationship between these teenagers and their parents, siblings, friends and tutors or governesses. Politeness, it is argued, was a framework of behaviour which, learnt and observed, made sense of social life. For boys it was rooted in a training in the classics; for girls it meant a training in manners and the social accomplishments which were believed to guarantee a good marriage. English politeness was inculcated across the board in the higher social ranks. The paper considers a few of the human stories that lay behind this inculcation.