Dear Abbe,
I am currently negative staining lipid vesicles, and sometimes I get dark circular shadows that seem to lie above my vesicles. We are wondering if this can be caused by high air humidity during the drying process because the weather was quite hot and moist during the last weeks. Do you have an idea about the reason for this phenomenon and how to get rid of it?
Kirsten in Graz
Hallo Kirsten!
It's always good to hear from a colleague in Austria! Some of my co-workers in the next lab are accomplished at negative staining. Instead of asking them for their advice, however, I will dispense some advice I learned from my friend Alexander Bain. These vesicles may have “feelings.” I think you would want to be more positive and uplifting in your treatment of the vesicles. I mean who wouldn't go carousing all hours of the night to escape a negative environment and end up with dark circular shadows? Maybe you should ask the vesicles about their relationship with their fathers. Maybe give them some positive feedback. Even though I know little about negative staining, dark circular shadows are a specialty of mine ever since my classmates and I began our nightly kneipenbummels. I have found that lying still in a darkened room with chilled cucumber slices covering my eyes works wonders, although I don't think it will work as well on coated copper grids.
Dear Abbe,
There was a motion for one of the members of council to be blessed at our society's last business meeting. I was having trouble with the idea, as it doesn't appear anywhere in Robert's Rules of Order. What is the protocol for council blessings? Do we need professional clergy for this to be official?
Concerned in Conestoga
Dear Concerned,
Holy Hossenfeffer! It is rare indeed for there to be a saint among the council of societies or corporations. Many meetings I have attended would have been better described in apocalyptic writings. You are correct that Mr. Roberts did not cover this. However, religious activities are not necessarily confined to cathedrals; divine entreaties can be overheard during most protracted meetings. I sought the council of Sister Magdelena at the Sisters of Sacred Compliance and apparently they are not in the business of bestowing blessings, baptisms, or beautifications. Just as some of your members may have become notaries for business purposes, you may need to tap a member to attend religious training and become a certified blesser. Himmel hilft uns, I can just see Herr Professor Phil Russell with tonsure and vestments.
Nothing is too perplexing or numinous for Herr Professor! If you need assistance with nagging doubts or persistent petulance, please contact his personal assistant at [email protected].