Dear Abbe,
I've been reading your column in Microscopy Today for many years now and noticed that you haven't updated your picture in all this time. You look rather good for a man of 179 years. To what do you owe your longevity? Diet, exercise, or something else?
Flummoxed in Florida
Dear Flummoxed in Florida,
Ach, so many people have asked me this question! I have given up on reminding people of the wonders that can be performed in the photographic darkroom, and the perfidy of offset printing. In this age of internetainment, you should realize that appearances can be deceiving. Especially little drawings of personal profiles. My image is beguiling, nein? In reality, I look much younger. Let us just say that those fluids biologists use aren't called “preservatives” for nothing!
It is said that with great power comes great responsibility. Contact Herr Abbe to discover how you can avoid both through his cantankerous correspondent at [email protected].