Scene Two
from You Fool, How Can the Sky Fall?
Published online by Cambridge University Press: 21 May 2019
Summary
The spot is on the MINISTER OF CULTURE. He is sitting on one of the boxes and is pulling out the petals of an imaginary flower. The rest of the members are sleeping in grotesque positions in the Shadows. The MINISTER OF AGRICULTURE wakes up, and creeps up on the MINISTER OF CULTURE.
CULTURE: She loves me, she loves me not … she loves me, she loves me not … she loves me, she loves me not …
AGRICULTURE: What are you doing?
CULTURE [startled and hiding the flower]: Oh, nothing.
AGRICULTURE: It's about her, isn't it?
CULTURE [mortified]: None of your business.
AGRICULTURE [laughing]: How stupid can you get! How dumb! And what stupid nonsense … ‘she loves me, she loves me not …'What rubbish!
CULTURE: We all know that she does not want you, however much you spew your venom on me.
AGRICULTURE: And you think she wants you? You are just her little puppy as far as she is concerned. Woof! Woof! Sniff! Sniff!
At this moment the MINISTER OF HEALTH, who has just woken up, joins them.
HEALTH: Boys, boys, boys, what is the problem now?
The MINISTER OF CULTURE climbs down from the box, and kneels in front of the MINISTER OF HEALTH.
CULTURE: May I wash your feet, beautiful princess?
HEALTH [amused]: With what? We don't have any water here.
CULTURE: With my tongue. [To AGRICULTURE.] See if you can top that.
AGRICULTURE: Me, I don't lick your feet. I give you the time of your life as only a man can do.
He pinches her bottom.
HEALTH: You do that again, I am going to cut your thing … which is already not there in any case.
AGRICULTURE [scandalised]: You like to impugn my manhood, don't you? You think you can castrate me with your words?
HEALTH: My tongue cannot do what nature has already done so effectively.
CULTURE [standing up]: I have this recurring dream, beautiful princess … I walk in a garden full of flowers … hand in hand with you.
- Type
- Chapter
- Information
- Fools, Bells and the Habit of EatingThree Satires, pp. 53 - 67Publisher: Wits University PressPrint publication year: 2002