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I just couldn’t move. I was on that many different opiates, my body couldn’t cope with it.

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  25 April 2023

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Summary

I studied Fine Art at university and graduated in 1989. My working life since has been quite varied. I’ve been a labourer, a cleaner, and spent time fabricating art works. I’ve taught life drawing and worked on tarmac gangs. I’ve driven a lorry delivering steel, and lately I’ve been tattooing. A lot of what I’ve done has been hard, heavy, physical work, and over the years that takes its toll.

I think I did too much. It was after I’d been tattooing for a while that it sort of caught up with me. I started getting cramps in my hands. My neck was starting to hurt, my back was hurting, but you take painkillers and try to work round it. I went to the doctor and I think he thought I was some sort of hypochondriac. I went for an MRI scan and they found out that the discs in my upper back had started to disintegrate and there were problems with my spinal cord.

I’d been taking paracetamol for the pain, but as it worsened, the medication I was prescribed became stronger and stronger. Paracetamol became diclofenac, and then I was on Solpadol. After that, pure codeine and then it went on to tramadol, diazepam, amitriptyline, all of this at the same time. In the end I was taking eight Solpadol a day. Each one of those contains 30mg of codeine and 500mg of paracetamol. I was prescribed tramadol, but I was still taking 400mg of codeine every day and all the other stuff too, because the pain had returned. I was still working at this point, tattooing during the day and fitting doors in supermarkets at night. Eventually, things came to a head and I started seizing up. I just couldn’t move. I was on that many different opiates, my body couldn’t cope with it.

I reached a point where I just couldn’t take it any more. I was in a state. I just had to wean myself off all of it. I went into a very difficult period of withdrawal, all of the classic symptoms: scratching, muscle spasms. It took about seven months until I felt that all the stuff had left my system.

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Invisible Britain
Portraits of Hope and Resilience
, pp. 57 - 59
Publisher: Bristol University Press
Print publication year: 2018

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