1. INTRODUCTION

It is appropriate that, in this chapter, I want to contemplate John Eekelaar’s article ‘Family Law and Love’: ppropriate because, whenever John’s name comes up in conversations with family lawyers, he is spoken of with remarkable warmth and affection. And his name is often spoken of by family lawyers! His impact on the academic study of family law is enormous. Anyone tempted to think that family law is a’soft’ subject for academic study, or has little of philosophical interest, will soon have their minds changed by reading any of John’s work. The depth, quality and clarity of his thought is unsurpassed.

But more important is his kindness of heart. John was not only an outstanding researcher; he was an inspiring teacher. One thing that always struck me was his dedication to his students. He would find a kind and supportive comment about even the least worthy of them. At a time when it is common to express frustration about teaching or despair at the quality of students, John was always deeply committed to teaching, and proud of those he taught. He was a most wonderful colleague: enormous fun, hospitable, extraordinarily conscientious, supportive and inspiring.

In his later work, John explored the grand themes of family law. These magisterial works demonstrate an academic at the height of his powers. As already mentioned, in this chapter I shall discuss one of these, ‘Family Law and Love’. I shall set out some of the thoughts inspired by this article. They are not intended in any way as a rebuttal of the arguments made in the article, but rather as my own consideration on three of the themes raised. First, the contrast between family law which seeks to influence people’s behaviour (the instrumental function of law) and family law which deals with problems and disputes after the event (the retrospective function of the law). Second, the relationship between domestic abuse and love. Finally, the role of kindness in the resolution of family disputes. Before considering these, I start with a brief summary of the article, although I shall be expanding on the themes as the chapter progresses.