Gregory Fredrick Watson was my cousin. We became like brothers when I turned 16. Facing depression myself, I found Greg intelligent, having dealt with many issues himself growing up. He had a very down-to-earth perspective. He was loud, he was funny, and he was very honest. He gave me advice and mentoring through tough times, something I tried to do back. Unfortunately, he committed suicide last winter, aged 26.
After Greg’s mum became pregnant with him, she had psychosis and entered a very dark place. This was worsened by the various medications prescribed to contain her condition. She had no ability to care for herself. When Greg was born, our family wanted him to be taken away from his mother. We thought she would struggle with a young child. His father was adamant that they could look after him, shouldering the burden of a young child and a mentally ill partner. As Greg grew older and his mother’s mental state worsened, his dad slowly began to lose his grip. Greg was neglected emotionally and physically.
When we were kids, our Uncle Nnamdi hung himself at the age of 22. Greg, my brother and me all idolised Nnamdi. His suicide deeply affected the way we all see the world. Greg said that he first started feeling suicidal at the age of 12, when he started secondary school. He was bullied extensively and was hit by his dad. He changed massively in appearance and attitude in order to cope. The bullying was based on his mum’s condition, his mixed racial heritage and his sensitive nature. As Greg got older he dropped out of college to look after his mum and to reflect on his life.
Once his dad left home, Greg was the last one left and became his mother’s carer. After his dad died in 2015, he ended up having a breakdown, due to the bad relationship he’d shared with his father and the deep regret for what they should have had. He also thought about his mother’s mortality and questioned his place in the world without his mother.
Greg tried to commit suicide a couple of months later. He told me he was about to jump out the window and said to his mum, ‘Shall I jump?’ and she replied, ‘I don’t mind.